Varieties.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 361, 9 April 1903, Page 2

Varieties.

LOVE-MAKING TINDER DIFFICULTIES. HEN two young people are bent lsft*W2 oa love-making they make *JSmHk* li B nfc °f difficulties, even when these app ar insuperable to the outside observer. Fyramus and Thisbe, kissing each other through a hole in the garden-wall, showed som? ingenuity s but this was nothing compared to the res' urcefulness of a modern youßg man. His parents, and those cf the girl he loved, were at variance, and she was most carefully watched to prevent all possibility of private speech or exchange of notes. He could not be prevented, however, from attending partita at the houses of mutual friends when she was present, and singing passionate love-songs for her benefit. 'Oh, love, dear love, be true,' would peal across the room, and if an opportunity occurred she would respond with 'Charlie is my darling,' or something equally appropriate. Mamma's hard heart was melted one night on hearing him sing * Queen of my Heart,' and the persevering pair are now happily married. SHE GOT A SEAT. Humor does not abound in the vigorous atmosphere of the Twopenny Tube between 7 and 8 p.m. Therefore the passengers jammed up near the fat, irate woman one evening last week greatly enjoyed the following: ' Thomas (this very loudly while jogging a mild little husband as they both swayed, clutching the leather loops overhead—Get a seat for mo, I tell yer.' Conciliatory whispers came from the mild man, who glanced timidly at the passeng rs his wife was poshing against. Then 'Nonsense! Yer could find me a seat e sy enough, if yer wanted to.'

More agonized whispers from the husband and more load demands from the wife. There was great local relief when an irreproac ably dressed young man politely gave up his seat. As the woman dropped heavily into it she beamed on him with, ' Any one can see you're not my 'usband, sir.' PHILOSOPHY IN FICTION. Doesn't it strike you as odd that whereas the perishable nature of money is always dinned into one, yet we can apparently purchase imperishable treasure by being charitable with it P It is absurd and ridiculous to want to remain as one was. Indeed, not to change ■hows that one has a nature incapable of development. It implies a sort of moral torpor—an atrophy of one's nature not to get older as one gets older. And one of the best effects of age is to give one tolerance, to make one realize that it takes all sorts to make a world. It is absurd to coil one's self up like a hedge hog and run your spines into everything you come across. I often do it, but it is a mistake. " Mildred's creed was that secrecy in this world, was impossible, and the only way to prevent talking in a way that mattered and was annoying was to do things quite, openly. . . Trespassers can be prosecuted ; length of possession constitutes a title.