Humour.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 353, 12 February 1903, Page 7

Humour.

Brown: ' Are yon interested in genaalogy P Ever looked up your ancestral tree?' Jones: Never did. Fact is, I'd be afraid there might be a man hanging from one of its branches, Mr Brown: 'How often have I told 1 you hot to play with your ball in the -house P' Johnny: ' Every time you've caught me at it, sir.' Rivers (exhibiting it) : ' This is a neoktia my%ife gave me.' Brooks: 'What are you going to do with it ?' ' Rivers (heroically, putting; it on): *I am going to try to live it down.' 'l'm afraid, John, you're sowing your wild pats, Next will come the crop.' .''.' And Rafter that—the cropper,'l sup. .pose, aunt.' ' Lady (engaging nurse).: 'Have you any experience with children ?' Irishwoman : ' Oh, yis, mum! ■Oi used to be a child mesilf wanst!' Tourist: 'Do those scarecrows save your crops V Farmer: * They work first-rate. Ton see, every tramp that comes along crosses the fields to see if th' clothes is wm'th stealin', w'ch they ain't, an' that soarea th' crows away.' 'My dear,' said Mrs Gush,' your mourn- , f ing bonnet is just lovely.' 'Yes,* replied the young widow, petu- ;jp lantly,'but the faot that I have to pay for it myself robs me of all the pleasure I might have in wearing it,'