Varieties.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 353, 12 February 1903, Page 7

Varieties.

AIRS AND HAIRS. STATISTICIAN has recently dis®|M&£ covered some rather alarming af2K! facts, particularly for bandsmen, about baldness. He began to study the proportions in which professionals became bald, and he found, to his surprise, that music exercises & deadly influence on the hair. The cornet-a-piston and the French horn act with surprising severity and rapidity, but ths deadliest instrument of all is the trombone. In fact, according to our author there remains no possible probable shadow of doubt that a trombone can clear off a man's hair in five years. Judging from the renowned foreign pianists and violinists, we should imagine that neither of their respective instruments had tha power of even shortening their wavy locks, much less of causing them to disappear. What would the enthusiastic young lady think of a perfectly bald Paderewski ! HER IDEA OF ORICKET. Our game of cricket has been described by a German gill in the following amusing little essay : 'lt is very good for the exercising of the limbs, besides they learn to ebey orders and net to 1 quarrel. The cricket court consists of a great lawn and a little tent, where the players repose themselves, or where are the places of the audience, which has to pay a little money before they are permitted to regard the elevens. ... . Now the bailer sends a ball, the batter who is standing before the wicket has to send it abroad. ... If the bailer knooks down the wickets, the bailer and the backstop make their rune, &e.' But the gemot the article is the moral reflection made at the end of it by the juvenile essayist: ' When they are thirsty they go into the tents to drink a glass of brandy, then they are drunk, and their parents scolds; poor boys. I would not allow my children to play such a stupid game.'

WIT OB HUMOTJB. Some time ago Mr. Charles Johnston wrote, ia the * Atlantic Monthly,' on the much-discussed question of the difference between wit and humour. The following illustration, to which he attaches particular value, is typical of the land of the Stars and Stripes, or at any rate of that portion of it known as the Wild West:— ' A mustang. has been stolen, and swift Nemesis has descended in the form of Manilla hemp. The time has come to break the news to the family of the deceased. A deputation goes ahead, and the leader knocks at the door of the bereaved homestead, asking, ' Does Widow Smith live here ?' A stout and cheerful person replies, 'l'm Mrs. Smith, but I ain't no widow,' The deputation answers, 'Bet you a dollar you are. But you've got the laugh on us, just the same, for we've lynched the wrong man.' A TICKLISH JOB. A Moscow student has just hatched a guinea-fowl from an egg which he kept, during th& necessary time of incubation, under his armpit. A ticklish job! Imagine (says 'Thai Globe') the agony of holding the egg in its place when the chick began to pick at its shell. Or, imagine what would have happened if, on the twentieth day or so, some one had struck the student's funny bone! It suggest's the horrible situation of the man who went down the road holding his hands very rigidly, in a sort of bracket shape, at a distance of about three and a half teet. He caused considerable surprise to the passers-by, and the explanation of his extraordinary conduct was not discovered until, a friend hit him a violent blo-T in the ribs. Then, as his arms collapsed, he exclaimed fiercely:—' Yen silly ass! I was taking the measurement of a wardrobe for an alcove i' : .i ■; MJf \>

AT THE EOXAL MINT. Tiie average visitor to the Mint cudgels Mb brain in vain to understand how a check can be kept on all its wealth, for there is scarcely any waste, and theft is unknown (says Mr. Charles Oliver, in Living London'). The explanation is simple, however, for, contrary to general supposition, nobody is searched when he goes home at night, and there is no system of espionage; bat no employee engaged in tha mak-'ng of money is allowed to leave the building until the day's work is done—the men must take their dinner on the premises—and until every particle of metal has been weighed. , If a valuable piece of metal is missing from any department, the employees in that department have to find it before they go home. Several other precautionary rales have to be observed, not because there is any doubt as to the honesty of the workers, who bear the best of characters - the gseed of gold is not for them, familiarity with the precious metal having removed all temptation—but in order to prevent the ingots from going astray. Each department is kept locked throughout the day, and no man can visit a room other than his own without the sanction of the officer who is over him. Further, the metal is weighed as it is passed from room to room. The head of each department knows by his books the weight of metal that was given out to him in the morning, and consequently has no difficulty when work ceases for the day in ascertaining the exact amount of gold and silver, after allowing for waste, that should be in his lands. Even the dust on the floor is taken into calculation. Before the bells sound for the nightly exodus each room is carefully swept, and the particles that have accumulated during the day having been collected they are put into water, r/ifch the result that that any gold or silver that may be present soon separates itself from tbe dust by dropping to the bottom of the pan. It is interesting also to observe that the goli pieces are counted as well as weighed as. they are carried from room to room. It is; important to note that none of 'the gold in the Royal Mint belongs to the G-ovornmunt. It is tha property for the thus being of the directors of the Bank of England, who. whenever they require an addition to to their stock ot : eovert-igns aiad halfsovereigns, send a supply of bullion to the Mint, where it is turned iato coins at the expense of the Government, The Bank pays nothing for the manufacture of its gold money.