Ways of Living.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 352, 5 February 1903, Page 7

Ways of Living.

A FINE FIELD FOE FAKISS. jl?£|£ E was alerfc * unctnoafll y emoothgKflP faced, axsd perhaps had seme *ffi£k thirty years to look feaak ujmn. With a bellow th»t startled the quiet of the oue brief business ifcretoh of Yuma, his voice rose presipitously and [then frith an unmodexated, sudden fall declined Into a mild intonation. He seemed to conceive that by these contrasting pitches of delivery he could drive home the better the salient points of his discourse. A crowd of miners, the odds and ends of the town, had gathered about him. His talk, however, was neither a homily on the necessity of regeneration nor a political diatribe. Before him on a little tray balanced on a thin, portable iron trestle rows of razors glistened in the sun. Folded ostentatiously between the fingers of his left hand were layers of greenbacks. Thr Fakir's Head

What most interested his hearers was ! the fakir's head. One hemisphere was as bald as a billiard ball; a passable growth of hair matted the other. The two incongruous parts reminded one of the fertile garden and the desert side by side, but divided by a sharp, arbitrary line. The crowd clearly was immersed in various speculations as to the wherefore. The fakir soon satisfied curiosity. ' I observe,' he commented, ' that you regard my head as a saw mystery and that you can't make up your mihds whether I'm a crank or a monstrosity. Now, it ain't anything but a standing advertisement. I ain't out here on a government mission, .and I ain't preaching the Golden Bule. I wouldn't do to you what I have done to myself. 9 Here the fakir passed his hand over his head. * I'm out here on business,' proceeded the fakir. ' I've told you all about those patent razors. Now I'm going to demonstrate just what they can do. You can use them almost while running. You don't even need a looking-glass. Look at this, for evidence 1' He now deftly swept a razor over his head and the bald area bad widened, He bent. ' You will all notice/ he said, ' that I shaved my head as I would whittle a stick, without any care whatsoever, and yet, if any of you can find the slightest suspicion of a cut I'll give him half a dozen razors free. If that doesn't prove all that I claim I don't know what will.' Wobkins the Game.

A 'capper' one of those secret confederates that ostensibly belong to the audience—shoved forward and after a little show of hesitation bought a razor. The example set, miner after miner transferred his dollar, and soon the fakir's stock was exhausted. Four days later I met this same fakir in Phoenix. His head was now destitute of visible hair and he was vending puzzle games. It appeared that the trick of shaving bis head was so uniquely freakish that it was a systematic finality of his 'spiel.' But the simple defect of material prevented the exhibition all the time. Henee when the last tuft had gone he took to selling puzzles until a new crop of pair came forth. Then he resumed razors. A week later there came to Tuscon a party of three 'celebrated Quaker doctors.' Purporting to hail from Philadelphia, their dress was conventional Quaker garb. They seemed apostles come to modern life, for they addressed one another as ' Brother John,' * Brother Peter,'' Brother Paul/ and their talk was freely interspersed with thees and thous. It was the Keal Thing. thai thsjr missito w&s an attempt at conversion or salvation, they did not seek to make. Their errand was to confer on the Toscon folk a certain boon to humanity' which was corked in plain bottles, labelled ' Genuine Old Quaker Medicine, Made from Herbs, Used by William Penn.' This preparation, it was frankly set forth, with an evident sneer at various boastful nostrums, was not guaranteed to vanquish every malady on the lists. Bat disingenuously on the reverse level of the bottle was a printed enumeration of diseases which it would cure (if not money refunded), and after scanning this category, the mind was hard pushed to recall what other forms of ailment there poß3ibly might be with which a frail mortal is afflicted. Ancient Spiels Revived.

In every southwestern town swarm fakirs, whose 'spiels' are worn out in the east. In El Paso a street fakir was Belling little 'balsam pillows.' As an introductory he presented to the crowd an old negro who went on to tell that he lived in a community in Mississippi where there were twenty men of over 80 years, and that all of them owed their longevity to the balsam pillows which an old mammy had first made from a preparation of different leaves some ninety years ago. The fakir then recited mental benefits to be gotton from continued use of the pillow, and recounted the innumerable physical altogether a most alluring picture. He continued thus; 'ln one of those pillows I have put a 10-dollar bill, in another a 5-dollar bill, in a third a 2-dollar bill, and in a fourth—the prize pillow—l have put a roll. L have here twenty-five pillows at a dollar apiece. Now step up and get your bargains.' Most of his auditors ware naturally disposed toward gambling and jumped at the opportunity. When the last pillow had gone he looked at his watch, beckoned to the driver of his carriage and then exclaimed with bland composure: I By the way, gentlemen, you will remember that I did not say that those bills were United States greenbacks, or that the roll was money. If you find confederate notes and a roll of tissue paper kindly bear in mind that mj representations were accurate in every respect. Tou can keep the notes and the paper as mementos of my visit. Good-day, gentlemen.' Before the crowd could recover from their astonishment the fakir was being whisk-d to the railroad depot, and he was just in time to catch the outgoing train.