THE RAILWAY LATE-LETTER BOX

Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2325, 10 January 1890, Page 2

THE RAILWAY LATE-LETTER BOX

Somebody connected with our New Zea land railways is either a boru humourist or elee it anxious to dieouiage " late let<ei) " If you take your stand ne«r iho guard's van on the platform jast before the north funeral—l beg pardon, the uorth express —starts you wHriaes a (onoy eight, enter old gaffer, bad head and rubicund face. Watch him charge frantiaally up and down the traio and bedew every carriage with his perspiration in his anxiety to fiad the carefnllyhidden box. *'Hi 1 guard I Where the deuce 1b that letter box?' "In there," says the guard, pointing to the van. Away rushes tka gaffer, but a£s: an interval of mingled Bearolt %n<*' profanity comes back to efobrue his htnds in the guard's goro. He can't find the b:x, not he. Luckily, the goard has vamoosed, and a bystander, who has solved the puzzle, takeu pity on the old man and shows him where the box is hidden. Then oomei an cffioa boy fall pelt, the late lottei in his hand. He Is more fortunate, and finds tbe box witb less diffiouity. He posts bis letter. Goodness ! what » hideous yell! " What's the matter my little man ? What hort you V '"I was p p-poatlng (aniff) a letter «n' the b-b box (sniff) nearly took the top of my fingers off Oaooo !" " Ab, yei!" remarks the feu»id, " It has got a way of jamming down on people's fingers," ' And he grins as he thinks how a small portloa of the revenge be owes the pabllo has been paid Bat retribution Is at b»nd r Ba ware, false guard t A dainty little maiden, with a jaunty little bat, trips down the p'atform ell smiles to tost that letter to "Charlie." Gradually a look of distress takea the place of fcbo smtle as the finds that ehe can't fiad the )e:ter box. She sees the guard, and with a touchlngy seductive little glance reduoeu that (.u»rd to a state of abject slavery, and he praaees off, his heart beating 250 to the mlnuie, to poat the letter for her. Does he get the thanks he expects ? Not mac i. Qaoe the letter Is safely In tbe b.x and tbe appealing look vanishes after the smile, and tbe little vixan gives the poor gn&>d such a rating lor having so Btopid a box that tbe poor fellow has gloomy thoughts •bout entering a monastery. Mo al— Why can't a plain, sensible letter-box be put on the train?—Battetfly In Danedla •♦Herald."