LOCAL AND GENERAL.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2312, 23 December 1889, Page 2

LOCAL AND GENERAL.

! There are at present 47,000 rent disputes m Ireland awaiting settlement. The handicaps for the Caledonian Sooiety'a events will be found m another plaoe m this ißsae. The British Water Gas Syndicate have cjffered to light the oity of Auokland by their process at a price equal to 8d per 1000 ft, There is a veterinary Burgeon m the Wellington district who has dealt with 200 oases of oanoer m oattle daring the past two years, Oar readers are reminded that the " Guardian " will not be published on Christmas Day, nor the " Mail on Boxing Day. ¥ha entries for the Ohriatohuroh Baby Show, whjoh ppened to*day, number : — Girls, under two yearo, 80 f boya, 120 : twins, 7 pairs ; Maoris, 2. We have to acknowledge, with reciprocal corflpliwepta of the season, the reaeipt from the Poet Ofj&ce of a (Ohristapß Card containing the time-table dates for JLB9O of the j3an Franoiaoo Mail sod Direot Steamers, [ We are requested to call the attention of the parents and friends of pupils to the fact that ' the annual prize distribution and pupils' soiree takes plaoe this evening at the Agb,« feuitoa Higb. gobool} at 7,30 o'glook, '

A baby is composed, according to a Transatlantic) contemporary, of a bald head and a o pair of lungs. One ol the langa teßta while t: the other is running the establishment and £ letting people know that it is master. The t baby likes to walk around with its father, j eapeoially at night. The father generally does all the walking, while the baby is ping- . ing the grand roaroh. At the last meeting of the Auokland < Charitable Aid Committee it was stated that , a man had reoently died intestate, and worth j £1000, whose wif6 bad been receiving rations ( for the family siDoo 1887. Hio widow hai. now applied to be furnished wi'h an aooount of the rations bestowed, m order to defray ' the expenses entailed on the Board. '• The Supreme Court, sitting m bankruptcy ' at Napier last week, was for several days , engaged m hearing applications chiefly to set aside payments mads as preferential. A. MoLear, storekeeper, of Eaikora, had his discharge suspended for two months, and H, A. Banner, of the late firm of Banner and liiddle, lor six months. The public will learn with satisfaction from our telegrams of to-day that the Railway Commissioners have at last promised that after this week cheap excursion trains will be ran on fixed days from all towns and stations on the various lines. Why not this week (being Christmas week) also? But better late than never. It is to be hoped though that the tickets will be made available for return at least a week after date of issue. The " Bevue Soientifique " summarises the physiological immunities of the Jews as showing that " everywhere stillborn children are rarer among them, a greater proportion of their children Burvive, their general mortality is lighter, their mean duration of life is longer, and they are comparatively exempt from tuberculous maladies," and it asoribea - these biologioal privileges m a great degree " to the faithful observance of the hygienio rales prescribed by their religious observances." : M. Langrand was the working man's candidate for one of the division of St Quentin, at the late general eleotions. He was beaten as he said by a "bloated capitalist," Langrand has just, m the presenoe of 2000 electors who voted for him, after drinking a bottle of wine, entered a cage of six lions, with the professional tamer, and had a short tete-a-iete with the wild baaßts. He came out unhurt, and has defied his successful rival to imitate him. It is not a bad way to quash an eleotion, or to oreate a vacancy for a seat m Parliament. ; The "Taieri Advocate" says two op oountry larrikins have just reoeived more than they bargained for as the result of a stupid joke. One night reoently they pretended they were constables, and m carrying out the farce arrested an old man for disorderly condaot. -They dragged him towards the look-up, not using him too gently, and upon getting near the plaoe let him go. Then the two local constables appeared on the scene. The genuine polioemen had quietly watched the whole proceedings from a distanoe, and the jokers found the end of their fun was a hard bed m the look-up for the balance of the night, and a fine of 20s apiece for disorderly conduct next morning. An amusing story oomes from Metz of an adventure whioh has just befallen a Frenoh family living m the neighbourhood of the frontier. These people have some relatives residing m German-Lorraine who invited them to lunoheon a day or two ago, but at the frontier they were stopped by the guard, and not having passports, were barred the way. Fortunately the (German relatives went out to meet them, and seeing the diffiouity, they fetched the lunoheon and had it on the frontier itself. The French sat down on their side of the boundary and the Germans on theirs, and mirth and jollity crowned the al fresco repast; The Ameer of Afghanistan has hit upon a plan of combining justioo with theatrical display whioh is quite without parallel, A oompany of 300 rebels were reoently taken prisoners and condemned to death. It was decided that the wholesale slaughter of all would not produce the effect desired, and so the execution was prolonged for 100 days, three men being pat to death daily. Of these, one was each day dressed m a oostume of yellow and green and then hanged. The second was arrayed m sombre blaok and blown from the muzzle of a cannon. The third was arrayed in' crimson and then out into pieces with \ a sword. The populaqe enjoyed the speotaole as much as they dared. The quarterly meeting of the South Bakaia Lodge, 1.0.0. F., M.U., was held on Friday last, when there was a large attendance of members, who met for the first time m their large Hall aftei its having been painted and decorated. A new proscenium, the artistic work of Mr Higgs, ot Ashburton, was muoh admired. The Hall presented a neat, comfortable appearanoe. A large amount of routine business was disposed of, m whioh member^ took more than usual interest, the year just closing having been a very favorable one the siokness experience being only a total ot ten weeks. After the business was disposed of, the eleotion of officers took plaoe, the result being—J, Haigh, N.G. } B. Blackburn, V.G. ; the inferior offioos having been filled by other members. Receipts of the evening £40 16s lOd; expenditure £52 6s sd. Medical and other soientifio journals nre always discovering some terrible dangers that threaten the lives of the people. The latest revelation is made by one one of those estimable medical journals which are always pn the watob for us m what Hamlet calls our "secure home." It appears that a little girl recently sat down befpre the fire m her humble bnt happy home to prepare her leaeons. So muoh virtue ought to have been rtwarded, but it was not* for the little girl suddenly exploded without a moment's warn* ing, just as if she had been an American steamboat. She was wearing a oomb of one of the new compositions whioh are now so muoh m favour for the purposes of personal adornment. Life hardly seems worth living if th'e harmless oomb or modest shirt stud may turn out to be a sort of portable bomb? shell. Here is a story of Sothern and an undertaker. He oalled upon one of these trades, men one day and ordered, on a moat elaborate scale, all that was necessary for a funeral. Before the preparations could have gone far he reappeared with great solicitude to ask how they were progresgirig. Agiiny U a brief interval, he presented himself with an anxious face to inquire when be could count upon possession of the body—a question which naturally amazed the undertaker, who was at a loss to discover his meaning, "Of ooursa, you provide the body ?" said Sothern. " The body ? " cried the undertaker. " Why, do" you not ZZJ," exclaimed the aotor, exhibiting a card of the shop. " *! 1 th »nKB necessary for funerals promptly supplied ? " I Is not a body the £ret necessity ? " I The following chapter of aaoidente was crowded out of laßt issue: —At Auokland a man named Henry Benard, a Frenchman, employed at Douglas Bros', sawmills, Helenaville. was found dead m the mill with his head split open. He had been engaged drawing 1ob;b and it is supposed that he was struok on the head with a obain that slipped. At Wanganni ort Friday last a well-known identity n.mtd 11 .ban Bason was discovered by his boh ghot through the head." A gun was fouDd clasped m bia hand, and it is thought that Bason must have been standing and had fired it off with a ficestiok, as there was no cap on it. The gun was loaded with slugs, Deoeased left a note m whioh waß •• Go and tell Bill at once." At Blackburn, near Napier, a girl, eleven years old, got her left arm torn off at the elbow by a flax-soutohing maohine. At Upper Hutt, near Wellington, Mrs Hooper has died from injuries sustained from her olothes oatohing fire;

He : "Now that we are married we ar ' one, and I shall insist thai thia be the last time you appear m a low-neoked dresßj She: "We may be one, but you are only half of us, and I shall dress my half as I please." Of late the relations between the Emperor William and Prince Bismarck have not been very cordial, m ooneequenoe of the Ohanoellor having remonstrated very earnestly with Hia Majeßty against hia dangerous habit of reckless talking on important and delicate matters. Visitor :— « Well, Tommy, how are you getting on at sohool?" Tommy (aged height) : " First rate. I ain't doing so well as some of the other boys, though. I oan stand on' my head, but I have to put my feet against the wall, I want to do it without being near the wall, and I expect I shall after a bit." A Norwich oouple, who had a pet oat whioh had grown helpless from age, put it out of its misery by the agenoy of ohloroform. They buried it m the garden, and planted a rose bush over its remains. The next morning it appeared at the door to be let m, and had the rose bush under its arm.