A BOY'S ESSAY ON IRELAND

Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2287, 22 November 1889, Page 2

A BOY'S ESSAY ON IRELAND

» An American boy is oroditod with the following composition oa the Irish : — " The Irish 1b qaere folks. They is alwray mid at everybody till they geta everything they want an 1 then they at ay a mad 'cause every other Irishman ain't got everything too. They don't like to do mooh 'oept hold offices. Sometimes they try doinj other things but they noon gets ilred and Btrikes. In Ireland they Is always fightln' the government bat here thuy does most of the goveraln 1 tholraelvea and there ain't anybody to fight 'oept each other, When one lot thinks one way and another lot thinks another way they oall thelmelvea faotnhnna and then these faotshnns lay :cr enoh other od dark nights. Doctor Orouin ought to a stayed m on dark nights. Irishmen oall thelraelves Irl6h-Amerloaca bat Irish girls theiraelvea plane Americans, When you Advertise, for an American girl to do housework it's always an Irish girl that comes. This Is all nloa at first bnt I guess houßOWoik mast be awfal hard 'osnse they get awfal ugly aboat ft awfal soone, When they gets mid you jaat gob to grip and bear it 'cause the potlcemans U alwtya aoualna of the girls and the magistrates Is ooasins to the pblioemans and there ain't any nza tryln' to get ahead of each big families." The youthful essayist thua oonoladea his eflfasion :— " Irleh folks say that In the ole country they gets trod on bat I gaess there mast be some mistake about that. They ain't the kind what geta trod on. Maybe thoagh the English is reokleator than Americans. But that can't be because the Americans ain't 'frald of the English *n' they is 'fro Id as death of the Irish. When au Ameriaan man tnlks about tbe English he talks load bat when •n American talks about the Irish he lowers his voloe just like os boys do when We talks aboat the Hohoolmuater. When an Irish boy gets mad at an American boy bo don't do no thin' bat swear until n good while after that whoa there's a lot of Irleh boys together an' they ketch the American boy alpoe. Tfyen tbe American boy h.aa to run. Maybe American men remember how it was when they was boys, an' that is why they is bo gareful. Irish boys don't pay like other boys. They don't see any fun m anything Vjept hollerin' at nioe people an* breakin' Ohlqymans windows, I don't see any fun m that. It makei folkß fool bad to be hollered at an* Ohinymans like nioe windows jast the same as other people. I can't make out Irish boya nor Iriohmans either, i'hey is queor folka." — Home paper.