GOOD ENGLISH "WHATEFFER."

Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 2229, 18 September 1889, Page 3

GOOD ENGLISH "WHATEFFER."

(Scene— Duke of Jiothesny Hotel, 5 pm. ; enter three Highland farme.g, newly bnded from tbe •• lona ") Waiter (smilingly advancing)— "Thig way, gentleniaD. wishing tea ? ' Ist Cclt — " Och, aye, whateffar for me." 2nd do—" She'll ink coffee for herßol " 3rd do (who has traveled, and is up to snuff) — " Wheeaht, ehe'll mak' a spoke for everypody whateffer — ch — Tea for you 'A'ougsl, an 1 coffee for Aliieter, ahuat 10. Here, waiter ! If you'll was pleesa to procbt ben — eh— tea for coffae, an' two for wan, hams and eggs m ta parlour for eferypody ; an' tbreo beds for each o" the ■hentlemenß here enoo, wbatuffer forbyo." Waiter (evidently bent on swallowing his towel)—" Ahem I Yes, sir, like to wash, sir ?" 3rd Celt (proud of his Englieh)— " No eenk you, she'll no smash her face tull ihe'll got her cuppar — put here ! (handing over big waterproof) hing ta room door up on ta nail that's stickln' at ta pack o' ta pig coat whaur she'll be Bleepin 1 tull to-morrow's moroin', and procht ben three trams o' coot whusky tull her suppers pc reddy." — The Bailie.