MELBOURNE TOWN TALK.
, . (From our ows Co-respondent.) "Serve us right," said the member for a Gippsland dlß'riot, known to be ooalbaartng "If Melbourne were to be plunged in Cimmerian darkness for twelve months, it would be. only what she deserves. Here we have coal deposits enough for all pn c ical purposes if opened up, and we rely upon » pl&oa six hundred miles away. Talk of protection and louking after our interest* ! Bab ! the Government will pntect a man who wants to make patent pills, bus an industry like ooal-m!nlDg oan go begging for want tf a little interest." This tirade uttered in the House a few days ag >, was of course apropos of the miners' strike at Newcastle, and though my friend was rather " quiok ; I' the mouth/ 1 I tbiak he Is not far wrong. , The coal famine we are now experiencing In the metropolis will without doubt bei»r fruit. A qudque chosi maVieur est bon — ** It ia an ill wind that blows nobody good ; " and if it results in the opening np of our Ulppaland ooal-fialdß, the present inoonvenieDoe we are undergoing may well be looked npon as blessings in disguise. So far, indeed, we are not pat to any very great trial of our patience. Coal and wood have risen greatly in price ; and the gas Is at half pressure ; but I am greatly in hopes, before anything more ■erious Intervenes, that the strike at Newcastle will have ended and nothing will ba left of it but the incentive on our | part to make ourselves seoure for any future crisis by developing our own resources in Gippsland and elsewhere. In the meantime Melbourne folks of course rush to anticipations of the darkest hue. The papers seem to foster the uoare, and draw lurid plotuies of the city being given overdo Styglan^darkness and desolation. One religious priest has taken the novel course of declaring it ■> " visitation, even m the Egyptians of old were punished," whilst a domio paper on the other hand says the publio should not make any outcry about it, for they are bound "to keep it dark." The only people who are really pleased are the makers of " oils " and the importers of kerosene. "My boy," said a well-known merohant to me in Collins street yesterday, Blapplng me exultantly on the back, " I've got eight hundred cases of kerosene landing now, and it's going up in price every day. Coma and have a drink on the strength of it," which I did. It is a lucky thing the cold weather we have been having has come to an end, otherwise we should feel the scarcity of ooal much more. As it is, by the aid of gas-stoves add candles pins a little patlenoe, we Bhall not suffer very much at the hands of the recalcitrant and arbitrary Newcastle miners.
I must confess to a dislike to introducing political topics In my weekly column of Melbonrne caustric, memorabilia, ana, on dits — call it what you will ; for I find it difficult to treat of such matter so as to make it chatty and agreeable. However, If I am to " hold the mirror up to nature" I must say something about this aggravating farmers' question, which Is causing so muoh talk and rancour. The farmers want increased dalles on Imported stock and cereaiß, the Government don'c — voila tout. It is the old battle-cry, rus venus urbs — town vtisus country. Unfortunately the country party is split np into two factions, which of coarse tends to weaken them ; but still they are strong enough to hold their own, and if they get defeated on this question, they will do their utmost to throw the present Government out at the general eleotlona at the beginning of the year. " The Government is doomed, anyhow," said a prominent country member to me the other day. •' They havo continually broken faith with us, I call them no better than political pawnbrokers." • ' Why ?" I asked. " Bacauße of their unredeemed pledges," he answered with ft sour smile. I went to the forelorn-looklng and barn-like Alexandra Theatre on Saturday' evening to see tbe first' performapce of young Fergus Hume's "Mystery of a Hansom Gab," and didn't enjoy it very much, the acting not being first-clßSs* Fergus' novelletta, howevea, makes a good play, and it Is a pity it should be brought out under such poor auspices, being a Melbourne play, written in Melbourne, New Zealand may be proud of young Hume, for he certainly has made a name for himself at horns. His people tell me that 300,000 of the (( Mystery " have been Bold in England. Unfortunately here In Australia, there is an injunction against its being published just now, there being some quatrel about oopyrlgbt. He is just publishing his &econd attempt, " Madame Midas," a story dealing with mining life at Sulky Gully, on Sir William Clarke's estate. '• Madame Midas" is Miss Cornwall, a wonderful woman, who has simply made the Snlky Gaily district. A dramatised version of the novel, the joint work of the author of Phil Beck, has been produced, and I hear, a hundred thousand copies of the novelette have been ordered before publication. So I take it, fame and fortune are now In tigs grasp of young Fergus, the former Dunedin " ande " and exquisite. After numerous unsuccessful attempts to establish a second evening paper in Melbourne, L hear in press circles that this will be shortly aacompllshed. Most of my readers will remember Mr James Thompson, who we tent home as our Victorian representative to the Indian and Colonial Exhibition — otherwise the " Collnderles." Well, this Is the gentleman who comes] forward, with a strong directorate and plenty of money, to publish about Cup time the first Issue of the " Evening Standard." It has always b&en a puzzle to pressmen how it Is that Melbourne cocld not enpport two evening papers, bat each has been the case. There have been many trials, but not one haa been successful, and the "Herald" has praotioally ruled the roast alone for a long time. It is not in any way a brilliant journal, and often contains ri&rjut matters not always the best reading for the domestic hearth. I hear also that we are to have £a new weekly society journal. Ic will emanate from asrßtolass office, and be well conducted, and I shall be glad If it takes the place of the feeble weekly that now pretends to be a refl3X of Melbourne fashionable doings. Nothing has transpired In regard to the Exhibition. Completion }s still going on, notably in the Frenoh and Maohinery Courts, which are the most baokward of all. A great soandal has occurred in the New South Wales Court, It seems that for a long time past tins of preserves, preserved meats, and other goods have been mysteriously disappearlog ; and It has been discovered- that two prominent officials of tbe N.S.W. Commissioner! ate the rascally thieves, more shame to them. They are to be dismissed, £ hear, but further than that the affair will be hushed up. I noticed by-the-way, that the Commissioners at theli last meeting deoided that the attendant! .employed by them should work from 1 a.m. to 0 p m. on one day, end 8 a.m. tc II p.m. on the next, or an average of lc hours all through the week. It strikei me, in a country where eight hourfl con stitutes the day's work by Act of Parlia. xnent, this is a direct infringement of thi law. By-the-jvay, I think the advertisemen of a certain brewery here reaches th jillmax of bathos. It is to be seen In th< Exhibition In the shape of a large placard Sir Henry Loch I* shewn with one lej thrown on the counter of a bar-room li the free-and-easy fashion peculiar to yloe royalty. Sir William Robinson is plcturei in a listening attitude, glass in hand wbjhjt Lord Oarrington, sitting in state oi an up-ended beer barrel, appears to wai with tome tmpatlißOp fa tbe order t . i
"fill 'em up again." Ii is a Boarrilon placard to place In euch a prominent position ; bnt, eb a frknd of mine Bald, looking at it, " Who will say now tbat Governors have net their naeß '?'' A correspondent (oamd ankaown. Bex donb'fal) has Bent me tha following little diatribe, which I gladly embody In thiß week's hebdomldal soreed, ea I think the mutter la sufficiently interesting. This ia It, verbatim ct literatim " What with Centennial celebrations, Exhibition festivities, and other little harmless antipodean gaieties, the merry-making publio in general, and you newspaper men In particular, appear to have forgotten thst thiß iaour Jabtlee lewßpaper year. Suoh, however, la lha fact. Oar first pap^r, the •Melbourne Advertiser' wes burn jost fifty yeara ago, In 1838 The little Btranger, originally a manusotlpt sheet, was laeued by Fawkner, and the old brick shanty that was one time need aa the publishing c flics Is at the present day In existence in one of the baok elurxn. It really seema aatonlahiog that thiß fact ahonli not have fonnd its way to the public through any of the papers, and I hope you will give it publicity." This I am glad to do, and I bag to thank my correspondent for sending me the information, I may add for the benefit of the curious who may journey to town that » copy of one of thg early numbers of the V Advertiser " is on view In tho Victorian Court at the Exhibition. As I have fallen fonl of that übiquitous rock, the Exhibition, I may as well go on and devote a iiw para to it. A press friend of mine defines the three atages of completion there aa thus :— First, general ohaoa — then packing case — then showcase. The last stage now is pretty general, though in many parts things are still very backward Indeed. On Saturday last I »r>pnt nearly the whola afternoon in the Vbtorlan Court, which well repays a visit, and Is, I think, (after the German court) the bent in the place. Moat of our leading manufacturers have come out well aid mada a good shov, and I saw samples of many articles I did not dream were made I here before.' One thing rather disgusted rar — ind that is the nutaber of grlmcrack wares the commissioners have allowed to bo exhibited. At one spot really the V;c torian Court locks like • cheap fair. There are ainm crossee, wax fljwero, crewelled amcki g-caps, painted cosies, wool plo'urer, and ether frippery of auoh little merit and worth, that their presence would not be allowed on a stall at a charity bsziar, and are certainly not the kind of thing visitors expect to see at a grand International Exhibition. To find companion exhibits of equal interest one has to visit the German Coart, where aprons and other articles of feminine attire are shewn, that would better suit the stock of a travelling pedlar.
There la not the slightest doubt in the world bat that some people will benefit— and benefit greatly — by tho Exhibition. The largest gaiaer, I take it, will be that Btn&rt American Harrison, who runs the Switchback Railway. Let m?, however, firat explain what a Swltohbaik h, for I do not think I have dono so yet, and some of my readers may not have Been one. It (s simply a short double line of calls erected Borne 20 or 30 feet above the ground. But instead of the floor being level there are three steep decents and corresponding aaoente. The car starts down the hill by Its own gravity, and the impetus is strong enough to sand it np the corresponding ascent. Then it whizzes down the next hill, mounts again, rattles down a third descent, up again, et xoila tout. The return car comes baok, on a different line. The little journey takes about three minutes, and the charge is sixpence. I really " congratulate the smart Yankee on his having snch a good thing on hand, and if he does not make a fortune out of the Switchback, I feel sure that he will at all events make threequarters of ono. Really, X think the commissioners must be mid to let him make snob, a charge, for in Sydney one oan GDjjy a similar ride for a ]}&nwj. I H&rrisoa had to remove his elevated miniature railroad from where he first put I It, and managed to get a substantial set-off as damages for loss of time and oußtoro, so that, altogether, he has got to tho windward of the Commissioners in fiae style. I went for sixpsnnyworth on Saturday, having for my companion the witty member for East Melbourne. Wowh'zzad down hill, rattled uphill, shot down rett, up again, down, deep down once more, and 00 back. As we stood afterwards watching the delighted crowd of children who mere patronising the novelty, a gentleman who had taken his little girl joined his wife, who, seemingly, had been too nervous to venture. " Tell you what, Jane," he said — tf It's awfully funny on that thine. It quite takes away your breach. When we were whizzing down hill I really d'd'nt know what's what." "Excuse mo, sir," Interposed my companion blandly, tapping him on the Bhoulder, " you mean whloh'e switch, don't you ?" I entered into conversation with Sir William during the course of the evening, and found him highly chatty and agieeable. The talk turned on the coal-famine with which Melbourne is threatened, and be of course agreed with me in thinking it was a dpplorable state of affairs that Melbourne should be so entirely dependent on Newcastle for her ooal supply, when we had miles of nnprospected coalbearing country in Qlppaland, "It reminds me of the story of the captain of a ship," said Sir William, " who signalled wildly to another vessel, ' We are dying from want of water.' 'Then dip your buckets over the side and get it, you darned fool !" was the reply. And he did, The ship was In the mouth of the Amazon, with hundreds of fathoms deep of fresh water round her at the tiim. This is exactly our position in regard to coal." ) So Sir William. Whether the atory is original or not I do noi know, but I give it for what It is worth, coming from bo emtasnt a source. Of the many Exhibition fnnotiona that have delighted fashionable Melbourne since the opening, I think (arguing bb cne who attended most of them) that Lady Clarke's ball on Tuesday last was the foremost and best. It took place in the Town Hall, and I don't think in point of deooratlons and display anything lika it has been seen before In Melbourne. The ball-room, balconies, halls, and corridors were absolutely unrecognisable with their wealth of artistic adornment, and the flywers, shrubs, mirrors, carpets, festoons, and drapery were something to be remem bered. I hear the affair cost over a thousand pounds, and I can well believe It.
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Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 1941, 11 September 1888, Page 3
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2,503MELBOURNE TOWN TALK. Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 1941, 11 September 1888, Page 3
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