RINKOMANIA.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume VII, Issue 1832, 4 May 1888, Page 3

RINKOMANIA.

Roller akatlng is all the rage In the larger cities of Now Zealand, and some of the smaller towns are belog inva^od by tho roller Bkatera. Perhaps Ashburton will shortly be m the swim, and as many of onr readers are not conversant with tho delights of rlnking, tho fol ! owiDg, from a DunecMa writer may give Borne idea how. delightful if the whole proceeding :—" I went to the Palace rink last evening to admire the Bkaling. I did admire It. Sa graceful the Bkaters looked, and so easily they did it. Pooh! It was nothing. I determined to skate myself and eclipse them all, An obsequious attendant strapped on a pair of gorgeous roller skates, and I stood up boldly'and launched one. When I came to, one attendant was fanning me with a newspaper, another waa working a pump-handle (E think that was what caused me to feel so wet), Mrs Butterfly waa holding smelting salts to my nose, and a bosom friend waa relieving mo of the weight of all my small change. My head felt aa if It waa a recently insured pane of plate glass ; but when they j aßked me if I waa hutt I said " Not at all ; ■ that is what ia called the Boston dude. If you will let me get np I will give you a sample of the New York high kloker I' I did I Ia faot I did Bevoral time?. I flitter myself I attracted considerable attention, especially from the young man whom I caught dexterously aa he fell upon the toe of my boot, He emlled faintly, lam sorry to say he also swore; I did not smile— bat that might hava been beonss the man behind me caught mem the toe of 7ms boot, Ob, I had lots of run 1 Ooae I tried doing the outside edge backwards (a very graceful fea>), when I s«t down on something soft. It seemed to bo a white waistcoat, but I did not stop to see what waa under* neath it as I had an important engagemeat elsewhere. When I came round again there waa a huge masa of wriggling arms, legs and heads on the Bpot. Ab I I atood aloof m a dignified attitude, trying to keep ereot, and eDgaged m preventing my right foot going due south whilst my left had an appointment at the North Pole, a young man informed me that an elderly gentleman had been " squelched," That was his elegant expreealon— " squelched." I promptly up3et him into the arms of hla best girl, and sat on both of them. An attendant volunteered the information that I must keap still or dlo 1 I siid I would die, and grabbed him round the neck to keep from turning a somersault. After other iool--dento too humorous to mention, I sat down suddenly on a chair with such oareleas abandon that I drove the lega through the fl3or. At all events I found .myself on the seat [of the chair with nothing between that at»d the boards. I deeply regret that Important buslnesa — over which I have nc control — prevents me again eleotrlfylng an enthusiastic audienoe this evening with my brilliant feats upon the roller ekatts.