VERY HARD LINES.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume V, Issue 1590, 22 June 1887, Page 3

VERY HARD LINES.

HOW THEY WERE WRITTEN ORDER. • "

[leaf from a laureate's diary ] I 9 a.m. — Bother the Jubilee. What, Jn the name of fortune, can one do with such a lubbishing subject ? But here's Macmillan waiting, and I haven't done a single line yet. Must get something put on to paper, if only to quiet him; But how on earth to begin. Get m "fifty " somehow. Want fifty somethings tbat come but once a year. Christinas? Good. That suggests Clown. I have it. Fifty times the Clown has grinned and' tumbled. No. That won't do. It's too shoppy, stagey. Has a soupcon of the " Promise of Slay" about it. Wants something wider, fia ! The Bow, suggesting tho Boaaon of course. Fifty times the Bow has filled and emptied. No. Don't like it Heads as if I was talking of a.cißtern. Too heavy. Try something lighter. Pastry ? Feathers ? Flowers? Ha! th'at'B it. Flowers, of course. Here, I've got it. Fifty times tho Rose hag flowered and faded. Anyhow tbnVH do to go oft with. Let's see. I want fifty domethiag-etaes to follow it up with What shall it be? Oactloada? Handfuls? Armfuh? Autumns? Harvests ? Good again. Not that there's . any precise oonneotton between them ; bufc one muafc stick do«rn something How'U thfo do ? Fifty times the golden hat vest fallen. Ye.B, that reads all right. Is there any other way of putting " fifty ?" Yes, "twice twenty-five." Bat that won't come id. Then there's " four times twelve and a half ." No ; that won't do Enough, ♦' fifty." Now we want some allusion to Her Majesty. Must get m a "nines." I have it: "Slace our Quoen assumed." Capital. Here you are ! Since our Queen assumed the Globe, the sceptre, Come ; that's a beginning anyhow. Tbree lines ! But they've quite dried me up. Besides I can't go on m verse like this. Don't feel up to it. Must try another metre. What metre 1 ? And then what on earth am I to say m it ? I haven't had each a job as this for a long time. Could weep over it. A precious ode I shall make of it. For though I know not anything, Yet must I not my lot upbraid ; Since as a Laureate I am paid, And, being paid, am bound to sing. Bat "a glass of sherry will make me merry." I'll try one, 6 p.m. Confound the Jubilee Ode ! Have now been at it all day, and am floundering worse than ever. Have got m something about illuminations, sanitary improvements, subscribing to a hotjpital and penny dinners, and given a kind of backhander to George the Third, bat who, on eaith, I refer to a» the " Patriot Arohiteot," and whfti I mean by asking him to Shape a stately memorial, Mako It regularly — no, " regally " — gorgeour. Some Imperial Inatitnte, I don 7 t know. But if I arrange it m parallel lines it will look like poetry, and that'll be near enoagh. Feel I'm making a horrible hash of it. Might go for a turn on my bfoyole. May clear my hand. Mighty to try. Will, Have dined, and now, at 9 p.m., have again settled down to it over a glass of grog. Am m a more hopeless muddle than evar; Trying to bring m everybody m a wind-up appeal. But look at thin— You, the snubbed, tho unfortunate, You, the Lord-Undertaker, You, the Lord OmnibusConduotor. Tbat doesn't seem to ran very well, but it'a the kind of idea I want to work In: Pon't seem to be able to manage itYou the Lady-Amateur Aotor ? .■■ No that won't do. Shall nevei get It done to-night. 10 p. m , — After awful hammering, managed to knock off two more line*. Head spinning, but must stick to it. Feel I've never turned out aaoh stuff In my life before. Hopeless. • • . . • 10.30 p.m. — Two more lines screwed out. But what lines. Won't soan, and as to rhyme— ha Iha I— oatoh me rhyming to-night. • • » . . 11 p.m. Have come to a dead stand-still. Equal to It. Have had recourse to the wet towel. Refreshes me. H», I see light. Happy thought. . As I can't do it m verse, why not write It all In prose, end then out it up into poetry af terwardu ? Sure tb get out up whon it appears. Why not do it myself firßt ? I will, ' Anyhow, here goes. Midnight. — Done it.' Labelled it "Carmen Ffcculare." Looks all right, bat quite the toughest piece of work I've ever had to turn oat. Posted It to Maomlllan. Hope he'll like it — Pnnoh.