INTERESTING EXTRACTS

Ashburton Guardian, Volume V, Issue 1435, 18 December 1886, Page 3

INTERESTING EXTRACTS

A CLERGYMAN AND HP MOTHER-IN-LAW. A'late American paper records certain criminal proceedings taken against a clergyman who was arrested on a charge of assault. The reverend gent'eman (according to our contemporary) was accused of “mopping the fltor with his mother-in-law and then flinging her out of doors.” In defence, the unnatural son-in-law pleaded that “ he had wrestled with her in spirit until he grew weary, and that consequently he felt compelled to use the a m of fi sh.” The result is not reported.

Victoria* railway passes A Victorian paper writes: The Issue of tickets to ex-members of PnlLnient who served in the Assembly prLr to the inauguration of payment of members continues, and has developed Into a big thing. Already seventy-nine tickets have been issued, and it is estimated that the total number will be about 100. Some of the applicants have a very woc-begone appearance, itnd it is evident that they have fallen upon bad times, while it is known that more than one ex-member has been “in difficulties,” but owing to the nature of the resolutions granting the issue of these passes, they nr-st be given to all ex-raembers with the service qualification, irrefpective of their latter careers and the singular thing is that a gentleman in gaol has applied for, and will have to receive i-is ra Iway pass.

WHEELING A BABY HOME After the race meeting in a remote country township, there was continued reve'ry, and the serious business of the day being over (he constable, who kept the peace - single h*aded on this occasion consented to he refreshrd with locally brewed beer. Temporarily < veremo, ih« difficulty was how to disp re of him An acquaintance who had probably read *■ Pickwick,” borrowed a wheelbarrow, and conveyed the curat rof the peace—somewhat, dtvi ualy. it must be admitted —to h’s quai-e -i just, by the lockup. The mot'on had a »evivifyin« influence, fer, on arrival, the representative . f die law aroused himself, a d, despite al! protestations, forthwith handentt'ed ana locked up his friend on a charge of >n«nl(tne behaviour —JEgles, in the Australasian

AN UNPLEASANT SURPRISE. A fisherman died lately down in Rsverlna leaving behind him a beggarly collection of furniture, fishing nets, some an’ique shotguns, and two brace of ruaty horse pis’niß. ■As he had no relatives in the colony, the Olerk of Petty Sessions as agent for the Curator of Intes sto Estates, took possession of the property end advertised it fur sale, A big crowd rolled up at the sale. The furniture and fishing-* aekle were soon sold off, the fire arms being reserved till the last. “ Now, gen leman," said the ouotiooer, “here you have a superb collection of shooting irons, and if any of you are troubled wit > hen-roost robbers, I confidently advise you to go in for one of these good oldfashioned horse pistols,” “ See here ” he arid, cccking the pistol he had in hand, “tbouih they Pok old they are In first rate—-Bang ! and a shower of slugs from the aocnrsvd fi’oarm sent the Sunday helltopper of the Mayor, who happened *o be standing by, into a million fragments ronnd the room 1" “Carry me home, carry me home” feebly implored the Mayor when he got his breath ; “ the infernal thing has blown my brains out! ’ —Bulletin