The Ashburton Guardian. Magna Est Veritas Et Prevalebit. MONDAY, OCTOBER 11, 1886. NOTES.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume V, Issue 1367, 11 October 1886, Page 2

The Ashburton Guardian. Magna Est Veritas Et Prevalebit. MONDAY, OCTOBER 11, 1886. NOTES.

At a time when big gooseberries are not yet in season, and in a country where snake stories are not possible for the lack of “ snaix ” —to use the Artemus Wardian mode of spelling—anything in the shape of a watermonster such as they profess to have seen up Auckland way is thoroughly acceptable to the newspaper paragraphist. There is something positively refreshing in the sensational particulars supplied of the great scaly monster that has been seen ploughing its way up river and lashing the water into waves by the sweep of its tail, for all the world like a sea-serpent, while the chasing of little boys open-mouthed by a creature —variously described, as to size, as being something between a retriever dog and a dining-table—with big rows of teeth 4ike a shark’s or a crocodile’s, is all so delightfully startling and so deliciously vague as to leave but little to be desired. Even that little is indeed supplied by the sovpfon of horror suggestively introduced by the incident of the little Maori gill, drowned in the same neighborhood, one of whose arms had been evidently eaten by some creature, possibly, it is hinted, by this very “ Saurian ” as the reporters have learnedly termed him, and which the Maoris declare is neither more nor less than a “taniwha.” Now there is nothing more improbable in the assertion that there were creatures of the alligator or crocodile species in New Zealand rivers in the olden time than that there should have been, as there undoubtedly were, in the moas, birds as big as giraffes, but seeing that for forty years or more the country has been pretty intimately known to Europeans and that not a single specimen has turned up, the probability of finding a living representative of either in the present day is exceedingly remote. So remote is it that we shall not be surprised to find this “taniwha” story revolve itself into a question of orthography, that is to say, that instead of all/gators in the water the whole business will be traced to alligators ashore, i

There is a cuiiousiyjgregarious tendency in criminal offences and tragical occurrences, which would appear lo be governed by some fixed though occult law. For example, do we hear of a fire in one part of the country ? we may confidently look for news of two or three occurring at the same time in various other localities, —of a death by drowning ? it is almost certain that it will be closely followed by more deaths from the same cause. Even particular descriptions of crime would appear to be epidemic, or to be temporarily fashionable, and while at one time robbery will be in vogue, at another there will be an outbreak of crimes against the person. There is even, it would seem, a fashion in murder, at one

time shooting, at another stabbing, at another poisoning. Recently we have had two illustrations this in New

Zealand in an epidemic of forgery, and another of suicide. The latter appears to have spread over the colony daring last week, several cases occurring on the same day (Thursday last), though the methods chosen for shuffling off this mortal coil were various—drowning, shooting and hanging being each resorted to. Is there any reason for this focussing of such occurrences at par ticular periods? If there be, it would be well that it should be traced out, as it might lead to the discovery and removal of predisposing causes. By the bye, talking of suicides, the Wellington case disclosed some very remarkable circumstances. The unfortunate victim of his own rash act was discovered hanging from a beam and kicking vigorously. His wife asked a neighbor to cut him down, but he refused to do so until after the police had arrived, and, as a matter of fact, the man was left hanging till life was extinct. Why in the world his wife did not get a chair and a sharp knife and cut him down herself, is the question that, naturally occurrs to everybody—except to the coroner’s jury, who censured the neighbor for his stupidity, but had’nt a word to say about the wife’s extraordinary non-intervention.

Printers’ errors sometimes lead to a good deal of annoyance, especially to authors and more particularly poets or poetasters, who hate to see the beauty of their lines destroyed by the substitution of “noses” for “roses,” and “fiends" for “ friends,’ and other typographical liberties of that sort. But they are also sometimes very amusing or are turned to excellent account. For example, the following which we clip from a contemporary, “ In a bankrupt estate, the other day, through the insertion of a ‘2 ’ where a ‘i ’ should have been the meeting was called for a ceitain date in the year ‘ 2886.’ Among the creditors was a Wanganui firm, one of which is not unknown in connection with fire brigade matters, and the following reply has been received “ We have your intimation by P.C. of the bankruptcy of ,of your city. It was not unexpected. As the meeting is called for the 27th September, aBS6, it is quite improbable we will be represented —at any rate in the flesh. Should we, however, meet Mr——— in the “ hereafter” we can promise him a lively time. We enclose, in case they ipay be useful, account and proof of debt. Any surplus out of the estate this side the grave we will be thankful for; from our past experience of our friend we don’t expect any. With kind regards from the writer, etc.’” !