AMUSING.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume V, Issue 1245, 24 May 1886, Page 2

AMUSING.

A young lady being asked if there wa - e many beautiful women in the place, innocently replied, “Oh no, there are only six of us at present.” The Japanese say, “ A man takes a drink, then the drink takas a drink, and next the drink take ihe man.” Evidently the Japanese “ have been there.” A drnnken parishioner was admonished by his parson. “ I can. go into the village,” concluded the latter, “and come home again without getting drunk.” “ A.h, minister, but I’m sae popular,” was the apologetic reply. “ That broth’s noguid,” said a grumbling youngster at the dinne ■ table In a Scotch farm “ Weel, weal,” says the mother, a quiet sort of body, “if ye don’t tak’ yer broth you’ll no get ony beef, an’ if ye tak’ yer broth you’ll no need ony ” ’“ Yon will lose your pocket handkerchief,” said one of bis friends to George Coleman, whom he met walking up the Haymarket. “ Not if y n will pass on,” replied Coleman, as he stood still for a moment and waited fur his friend to go by. A young Parisian lady, after being relieved of a tormenting tooth, laid down ten francs in payment. Looking at the fee contemptnousiy, the dentist asked if that was for his servant. “ No, sir,” responded madame, with a sweet smile, “It la for both of yon.” Smith keeps a savage dog on his premises, and near its kennel a board is displayed with the warning in large letters, “Beware of the dog.” “I suppose, ’ said Jones, pointing to the warning, “ you have painted that sign in large letters, so that ‘he who runs may read ’? ” “ No,” said Smith, “ but that he who reads may run.”