PROTECTION

Ashburton Guardian, Volume V, Issue 1544, 6 July 1885, Page 2

PROTECTION

If the farmer should gain anything by the protection afforded to pigs and tallow we wish him joy, for a great many of his agricultural implements will be 10 per cant, dearer. Indeed, what won’t be dearer ? The child will be born in a bed that has paid 10 per cent. ; washed with protected soap ; wrapped in shawls that have paid 20 per cent.; suckled from a bottle that has p*ad 15 per cent ; fed with arrowroot that has paid Id per lb.; wbe.led in a perambulator that has paid 15 per cent.; and be made wondrous fi.ie with trimmings that have paid per cent. He will go to school in protected clothes, and smash windows that were made in the place at 3a per sash above the foreign price. He will learn his multiplication table by protected candlelight, and bum his protected boots at a protected fire. He will ride on a protected saddle, and bet a protected hat that he’ll jump a fence of protected barbed wire. He will daub his protected coat against protected aint on a protected door. He will ea' his protected fish with a protected fork nff a protected plate. He will look at his protected watch through hia protected spectacles, and vow it’s time to go to hia lodge. He will drink taxed spirits out of taxed glasses, and be carried by servants —in whom alone there is freetrade—to a protected buggy, which ho will presently upset and break hia unprotected neck. A nominated coroner and a jury of unemployed will study hia case and write a verdict on protected paper. He will then bo puj; in a coffin lined and covered with prot cfod m?-terjal ? lowered into the grave with protected ropes, and c< yeroti with a protected shovel, to be pro eottyj from Protection for over.—Afofoum sign.