SALT OF LIFE.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume V, Issue 1450, 7 February 1885, Page 2

SALT OF LIFE.

(CONTRIBUTED TO THE “ ASHBURTON GUARDIAN.”) It is just about one hundred years ago since “ Salt of Life ” was taking the place that has since been succussively occupied by Morrison’s and Holloway’s pills, brandy and salt, tar water, cod liver oil, hop bitters, schnapps and sundry other “ certain cures.” Though many of these nostrums had a larger and more successful career than Salt of Life, none of them have ever retired with such a laughable farce.

This wonderful remedy for all the ills that flesh ia heir to was first ‘ • discovered” by Baron Hirschen, and after being duly translated by him, was taken up by a grave and earnest Professor of Theology, holding a chair at the University of Halle. Fancying that his health bad been improved by its use, the grateful professor wrote three elaborate treatises on its astonishing virtues. Led away by his own eloquence, Professor Sender at last convinced himself that a drug that could change all disease into health and life might also possess the smaller virtueattributed to the philosophers stone and convert base metals into gold. With this conviction he placed a strong decoction of it on a stove ard kept it at a regular temperature for some days and nights. At last he was delighted by seeing that it contained some yellow metal, which on trial stood every test that proved it to be gold. Cautious and conscieneious, the professor repeated his experiments, but always with the same result. Thera could be no mistake about the gold. Then his tender conscience allowed that the invention, which would make its author at once, the greatest and the richest man in the world was not his, but Baron Hirschen’s, the discoverer of the Salt of Life. The Baron was duly informed of the astounding wealth that awaited him, but the ungrateful man only sent back a contemptuous reply, advising the Professor to attend to his Chair of Theology and let things alone that he evidently did not understand.

The repulsed but enthusiastic Professor then sat down again with his pen and unveiled this additional virtue of the salts of life to the world. There was a universal demand for the “ salts of life," every store in Germany had a pot of it, which was being kept at the steady temperature necessary to “ fecundate ” the wonderful drug, bur no oue succeeded except Vernier, and his success was invariable. The Government took the matter up and first employed Klaproth, the most eminent chemist of his day. Of course bis first business was to analise the Salts of Life, which he contemptuously declared to be nothing but Glauber’s salts and sulphrate of magnesia and utterly incapa le of produ ;ing gold at any. temperature or under any circumstances, except when received frt>m Sender, who, of course, had au opportunity to put the gold in first. Sender was a theologian, an orthodox and eminently conscientious man ; while Klaproth was only a chemist, and was, moreover, strongly suspected of being contaminated with French philosophy, so that the faith of the sober Germans, of course, went with the professor. Under these circumstances Piaproth was obliged to condescend to make another analysis in the presence of the Ministers of the King and other distinguished persons in Berlin. On this occasion there was a great variation in the result. The Salta of Life obtained from the shops produced as usual Glauber’s salts and sulphrate of msgnesia, but the Salta of Lite obtained from Sender produced not gold but a kind of brass called Dutch metal. The Government, set the police to

work to investigate the mystery, and they soon discovered the following facts;—Semler had a faithful and strongly attached servant, who, seeing how much it would influence his master’s spirits and health and temper to be successful in his busy and anxious experiments, regularly purchased gold leaf and crumbled it into the Salta of Life, whilst “ fecundating ” on the stove. But this servant was a pensioner, and before the final trial came off he had to appear at a military muster. Before leaving he communicated his secret to hia wife, and left money with her to purchase gold leaf, and [keep up the deception. But hia wife was of a forgetful turn of mind, and fond of brandy besides; and, finding that she could purchase Dutch metal for a very small part of the money that had been left her, she spent the balance in her favorite beverage, and put the Dutch metal into the theologian’s pot.