"DOING” THE GAS COMPANY.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume IV, Issue 1066, 5 October 1883, Page 4

"DOING” THE GAS COMPANY.

- ’ He was trying to sell the stranger his house and lot, and after the prospective purchasers had wandered through the attic, and nosed around the kitchen, and poked into the closets, and rattled the windows to see if they were tight, . and smelled on the cistern-water to see how much dead cat it would assay to the gallon, the owner of the property look him down into the cellar which he had spent all night in whitewashing. The meters which were stuck up on a ..shelf in one corner of the cellar, attracted the stranger’s attention. “How much does your gas cost you a year ?”

asked he. The householder gave a. '.’knowing wink, poked the stranger in '.:the ribs, and said—“ You don’t look

likq a man who would give the thing

away, and seeing as you’re going to buy the house, anyway, I don’t mind telling you. It don’t cost me a cent.” “It don’t?” said the stranger, with evident surprise. “ No, not a red,” said the other, “and it’s all owing to a little observation on my part as to the workings of that meter there. I’ll explain. You see when I first moved into the house I was doing a good business, and so ,1 had everything fixed up in tony style, chandeliers in every room in the house, kitchen included, and other luxuries to correspond. But after a while my business began to run down, and I had to shut off my expenses. My wife suggested that we economise on the gas bill, so I bought a lot oflamps, and we stopped using the gas burners, except in the parlor when |W6.had company. When the man with Jthd lantern came around to look at the meter I fairly kicked myself with joy to think how it would astonish him. But it didn’t. The bill for that month was just as big as before, and when T squealed out, there was the meter to back them up. I couldn’t get round that. So I put the lamps away in the garret and used every gas burnerin fhe house. Kept two chandeliers in the bedroom day and night, .for luck. Bill for that month just the‘same." Then I thought I might as well be getting all the good but of that meter that it would stand, ,so I told the Gas Company that I should like to have a couple of chandeliers put in the stable for the use of the hired man. They came and put, them in, and the Very same day a man came to fix up the meter. Said some of the meters were wearing out inside, and had to have some of their driving wheels renewed, - ;«r. something of'that sort. The hired girl said -he took out a cogwheel and put in a bigger one, and then wound it up like an eight day clock.. At the end of the month the bill was twice as big as befqre. -And yet we hadn’t used any more .gas, because the hired man ran away with the horse at the beginning of the month, and we hadn’t any need to light up i the > Stable like a ball-room. Well that month’s bill settled me, you can just bet. I tapped 'a hole in the pipe leading to the barn, ran another; pipe dvbr to our next neighbor, and let him have all the gas he wanted at 10 per cent off. Inside of two months I was supplying the whole' square, and it didn’t cost me,a, cent more than it did to supply my house and stable. By this little scheme and by strict economy, I have been able to amass a handsome sum of money, and as soon as you take this house off my hands I’m going to move into the big brick down at the comer. I’ll turn this little monopoly over right into your hands. It’s a little dangerous; but if you’ve got the nerve, your gas needn’t cost you a cent, as I said at first, and—” “ Myvgas isn’t likely to cost me any- . thing anyhow,” said the stranger, interrupting hita for the first time. “Why?” M Because,” said the stranger solemnly, “ I’m the new secretary to the gas company*!’