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Ashburton Guardian, Volume IV, Issue 924, 23 April 1883, Page 3

Tn Sele'ctin g"iwife eschew the foreign- : • finished article. Select a home-maid. :: t . IJever. travel wi.hout a pocket'componton. A well-hlled pocket-book is the pest. . " ■' - - /Sea-sick passengers are most inclined to ■ heave when the vessel heaves to. • ‘ Raising food from the plate to the :moath u the best health lift. . bene shoe factory in Lynn are thirty women, all of them divorced wives. And yet everyone of, them would consider herself insulted should anyone insinuate that she is nbi true to the last. 1 ’ Mrs M'Glashan is now advertising her bald head remedy by her picture. Her , remedy may cause .the hair to grow .on ; • bald beads, bnt a sudden sight of herpio--tore will make-it fall right off, and this snakes business good. Soet, meeting Bannister, said,“ I intend dining with you soon on eggs and bacon. . What day shall I cornel'’ To which the other replied, “ Why, if you Will have that dish you must cope on a . Friday.!’ :..vaa • I do wish you would come home < earlier, ’’ said a worijan to her husband. “I am afraid to stay aloae—l always ; imagine there’s somebody in ,the : house ; bat when you come I know there ain’t.” "Woman’s Love.—Do you believe that a woman now-a-days would die for the objohfc of her level” asked her bachelor friend. "I don’t know whether she’d ■ ’ die or not,” answered the benedict, “ but 1 have known her go wild When the trimming didn’tsuit her.” i •- A gentlemen a few years since,: having ■ - brought an action for an assault, his ser- ! vant was called as a witness to support it, ' whoi after a few questions, 1 observed ■„ • * that he was certain, if his master had not a very thick head, the blow which de fendant gave him would have cracked hia skull.” " ",