Page 2 Advertisements Column 6

Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 349, 20 May 1881, Page 2

The Difference. —“Hallo!” gfid, a, man to a friend, whom he saw running wildly down the street —“ Hallo ! are yort training for a race J ” “ No,” shouted back the flying man, “I'm racing for », train.” „ ; Strange. —How it was recently argued —“Do you pretend to have as good'*" judgment as I have 1 ” exclaimed an ejfr ; raged wife to her husband. “ Well, no,” he replied slowly ; “ our choice of part ■ ners for life shows that my judgment is ' not to be compared to yours.” Awfully Jolly.— A young couple in their honeymoon are dallying languidly with the grapes at dessert. She (atchly) ■; “ And you don’t find it tiresome, dear, all alone with me ! You are quite, quite sure that you don’t wish to go back to bachelor life again 1” He (earnestly) : “Quite, my darling. Indeed, married life is so awfully Jolly that, you know, if you were to die to-night, I’d get married again to-morrow. Here is another example of a possible mis-construction of language. “ I fear,” said a country curate to his flock, “ when I explained to you in my last charity sermon that philanthropy was the love of our species, you must have misunderstood me to say ‘ specie,’ which may account for the smallness of the collection. You will prove, I hope, by your present contribution, that you are no longer laboring under the same mistake. ” Attacked by a Donkey.— The Melbourne Age reports that recently an old man named David Reed, while passing a grazing paddock near the Flemington road, was chased by a donkey inside it. At first he tried to keep it off, but the donkey attacked him in a fierce manner.' It knocked the old man down with its forelegs, and then commenced biting him everywhere. It first bit him in the faoe, and nearly tore the unfortunate ’ man’s jaw off. It then commenced biting the lower parts of his body, and, had it not been that some persons going past noticed the occurrence and drove the away, the poor man would have been killed •