Page 2 Advertisements Column 5

Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 288, 9 March 1881, Page 2

The balloonist’s home is one flight , “ Tiers, tiers, idle tiers,” asthe, actor ; ; said when he saw the rows of empty- . 1 benches before him. . : - h • :' j: ! “ Well, wife, you can’t say I ever con* ;" tracted bad habits.” “.Sty Bir;ybh‘ generally expand them,” - . .-q;;-.-.-,; Man wants but little here below, and. ; -.s he gets it. Blessed is he who expects- ; nothing, for ho is sure to get it. ... . Not upset—A wit being ott failure of a certain bank, “ Were yoa nbt upset?” “No, I only lost 'my balance,” ;-V. “ When I die,” said a married nmn; I- - want to go where there is no- snow ■ to shovel.” His wife said she presumed he would. “I say,” cried a fashionable youth to an old usurer,” the ready is needful?' Yes,” cried the other, “but the needful isn’t ready.” . o-d.- ? , The Philadelphia News says it is better to have loved and lost than to be obliged - to get up at five o’clock on cold 'winter mornings to-start a fire. " A correspondent of an Aupkland paper accused the Primitive Methodist Sunday scholars of playing kiss-in-the-ring pn New- • Year’s Day. This brought forth anindig- ;li hant denial from some: of the heads of the church, who declared that none but “re* > spectable” games woteindulgedin. At'Echuca, one day last week, a farm : V laborer'was attacked by a large mastiff, _ and he stabbed the dog with a pitchfork, he had in his hand. The of the dog brought him before the magistrate, ■ who asked him why he had not. struck the dog with the butt-end of his* weapon. “So I should have done,” .said >'l the man, “if he had run at .me with his tail.” : ■ A friend of burs at Droniore had a hand-. some grey mare', that he ; gaye 60 gv^ncaa, J . for. Thcto was something amiaawitji her ? and he sent her to a town. After a lapse of three, weeka -h»; 1 received the following, account : ®oattending grey mare, LI 10s. By oaebaas of grey mare, LI 10». Settled, T. 0. Holloway’s Ointment Rheumatic Pains, dis, cases are unfortunately very prevalent in country, and' axe frequently , mosf'disfccmsingi sometimes for years baffling all medicail.slcill tu alleviate the of the, victim,, Innfij,; case have Holloway’s Omtraent Pius-sanea to produce a cure- . The Ointment prpduces. a peculiar arid s6othingibftueTCe.byqr^tb^^*iyQß ad muscles, relaxing ain.. The attack soon becomes mfider nnd iq intervals between the parOxysms longer , intil they cease, altogether - he body from a weak arid debilitated Condition ( o a state of health arid jedridden for months with ; rhe%«icpjiifflr«wl Iwelllngs, after using the Gtotmrtt 1 ;uredirt>an inpredibte:shartJpetioAv^t^Tp JJ Jiol