The Age of Pads.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 253, 27 January 1881, Page 2

The Age of Pads.

(Cleveland Voice.) This is an age of pads. We have the lung pad, the corn pad, the bunion pad, the foot pad, and, we understand, the ladies’ pad. Even the newspapers pad, by which means otherwise lean dispatches are made to appear fat and rosy with enterprise. Our young men pad. If this is doubted consult your tailor, and he will tell you that the the first thing your man of fashion says when ordering a suit, is, “ Be sure and put plenty of padding in.” So the tailors pad. Your baker pads when he puts in ingredients to make his bread spongy. Your shoemaker pads the soles of your shoes with brown paper if he is dishonest. Actors pad in order to make themselves presentable, and the actor who awakens the liveliest sensations of love in the breast of the susceptible maiden, whep, qnpadded, is frequently found bow-legged and ungainly. Politicians pad their speeches with promises and borrowed ideas. Preachers pad their sermons by industriously reading sermons not usually accessible to' their parishioners. Talmage pads his sermons by vigorous exercise of his legs. The Congressman pads his small abilities by employing his secretary to write his speeches. The lawyer pads his cases by the use of fictitious irrele-

Vant testimony. The journalist pads his editorials by the use ot the editorial shears. The confectioner pads his wares by the use of adulterations. The railroad magnate pads stocks by the watering process. The banker pads his wealth by charging 8 per cent, where the legal rate is 6. The circus man pads his show by the use of gorgeous posters. The grocer pads his sugar with sand. Instead of this being called the age of invention, it should straightway be christened the age of pads.