Queer Epitaphs.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume 2, Issue 176, 26 October 1880, Page 2

Queer Epitaphs.

The following are the results obtained by a few hour:.’ wandering in one or two of the older churchyards in the County of Sussex, in England, celebrated for the quaintness of the inscriptions on their tombstones. The first epitaph refers to a son of Mars, and runs as follows :

William Macpherson was a wonderful person ; He was six feet two without his shoe, And he was slew at Waterloo. The next defunct party apparently belonged to the other branch of the service, for the inscription announces : Here lies the body of John Round, Who was lost at sea, and was never found. A few yards further on, the antiquary comes upon the following sad legend:— Here lies poor Susan Grey, She would if she could, but she couldn’t stay ; She had two bad legs, and a very bad cough, But it was the two bad legs that carried her off. An epitaph on the headstone of a grave in the parish church of Cheltenham is sufficiently original to merit insertion here, and with it we will conclude our notice. Cheltenham, as most persons know, is one of the fasionable wateringplaces in the old country, and the tombstone refers to its medicinal waters in the following lines :

Here lie I and my two daughters, Who died of drinking Cheltenham waters ; If we had held by Epsom salts. We shouldn’t have been in these here vaults,