THOROUGHLY VIVID.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume 1, Issue 51, 22 January 1880, Page 2

THOROUGHLY VIVID.

He was rather an uncouth-looking individual, and as he sauntered into the shop, the crowd sitting on the barrels winked at each other, and made remarks about his person. “Where did it come from 1 ” asked one, pointing at him. “ Somebody left the door open and it blow in,” said another. “ I don’t think it’s alive,” said a third. “ Touch it and see ? ” said a fourth. “ Yes it’s a man—see it move?” queried another. All hands laughed boisterously. “ I’m a poor man, and I don’t want to have any trouble with any body. I’m a Christian, and don’t believe in turmoil and strife, and can’t participate in it. I pray you worldly minded people that you will allow mo to depart in peace,” said the new arrival. One of the crowd, more daring than the rest, hammered the man’s hat over his eyes, and another dabbed his nose full of treacle from a barrel standing by. Then the visitor took a small volume from his pocket, and began reading in a drawling sing-song tone. While he was engaged in this, the crowd played all sorts of tricks on him. One put some eggs in his pocket, and another smashed them Then the biggest man in the house poured some petroleum on his hat and lighted it. Then the shopman hit him under the nose with a dried codfish. Then that man quietly put the little volume in his coat-tail pocket, and the shopman went head first into the treacle barrel. When the biggest man in the house picked himself from under the counter, it was next to impossible to guess where his head left off and where the fish began. No. 1 made work for the glazier, as'liep* hit a ventilator in the window. No. 2 hatched out half a barrel of eggs, and No. 3 got up into, the salt shelf, and stayed there. As No. 4 walked out of the deor on Ins back ho wondered how much it would cost to make him as good as new. Then the Christian man remarked, “The next time you folk pick me up for afc£ duffer look out you ain’t in the wrong box. * Good day, fellers.” The shop-keeper is waiting for them to coma round and settle for damage done, but they must have forgotten where the place is, as they pass right by without looking h\