THE FUNNY GENTLEMAN.

Auckland Chronicle and New Zealand Colonist, Volume 2, Issue 30, 29 February 1844, Page 4

THE FUNNY GENTLEMAN.

We have been favoured by a friend with a copy of the Comic Album for 1843, from which we extract the following amusing sketch, which is done to the life : ** I've been thinking, Mogg,” said a Camberwell matron, ** how we shall make up our parly for next Wednesday. I can’t think of sitting down to dinner with thirteen.” “ Let me see,” replied Mr. Mogg. * Is a nia,’cried Miss Jemima Mogg, a young lady whose age had just begun to be expressible by two figures, •* do ask the funny gentleman.” “ The Funny Gentleman, deaf “Yes, rod, him that Mr. 1 Perkins brought with him the oilier eveniug, the gentleman you know that told us the story about Hokey Pokey Won key Fum, aid did the little crow and big ciow, and conjured Tom’s pop-gun into the coalscuttle.”

“ Oh 1 do have him , ma,” screamed all the little Moggs, “ and let us all come in after dinner. Fol de rol de rol de rol de ray 1 What fun we shall have 1 Do have him, ma ; do, do.” “ What, that disagreeable peison that calls himself Poague ?” exclaimed Miss Matilda Mogg, a sentimental damsel of nineteen. “ I can’t hear him.” “ There are you Tildy,” expostulated Master Tom, the proprietor of the enchan. ted pop-gun ; “ you never like a bit of fun, you don’t—l’m glad Mama ain’t like you. What’s the use of always sighing, and looking as if you were going to be ill T * “He laughed/' pursued Natilda, not deigning to notice her brother’s interruption, “ at what I said abont Byron and Shelley, and the pretty things in the annua s, and all that ; and then he made a face . and tried to sing ‘ Fare thee well and if for ever,' to tbe nasty tuue that Tom brought home with him the other day, about getting up stairs and playing on the fiddle.” “ Well, dear," said Mrs, Mogg, “ he only did it in joke, and to amuse Tom and the doctor.’ •* I don’t approve of such jokes, ma ; and 1 hate people that are always laughing. Besides, when Eugene and I were talking about moonlight, and bow beautiful all that was in Childa Harold, where it says, * To gaze on Dian’s wave reflected sphere,’ he interrupted ns and told an absurd story of some silly people in W ilt shire who tried to rake the moon out of a pond.* “ Well, never mind for once, dear," said Mr. Mogg ; “ we must have somebody, and Mr. Poague really is very amusing. Eugene and you can sit together if you like, so as to be out of his way. So, Mogg, when you see Perkins to day in the city, ask him to bring his frieud.,’ It was thus settled that Mr. Poague should make one of the family party on the ensuing Wednesday at Pomona Cottage. Wednesday came, the guests were assembled. all except Mr. Perkins and his facetious friend. The dock struck five—- “ Gentlemen, cried Mr. Mogg, “ punctuality is the solo of Susiuss, I wait for nobody. Dawsons, will you take care of Mrs. Mogg, add lead the way ?’* Walk up, reader, and behold the Surrey carnivora feeding. All present his visage, rolls his eyes, and grins a corbel from a ruined abbey. “ Aha! my little chick-a-biddies, what do you think of this ?” And now follows a tune on his chin, after the manner of the celebrated quondam performer at Vauxhall. Immense is the gratification of the infants Mogg. “ I say, Mr. Poague,” bawls Master Tom, “ please tell us of a funny story.” “ bunny story I my young calimanco? Come, then—Did yoil ever hear of the Maish Mockasun, the big suake of North America, that eats a couple of live oxen and half a dozen little boys every morning for breakfast, and thioks nothing of it?” “ No ; do tell us aboift him.” “ Well, then, let me see, no, I’ll tell you about him some other time. 1 know something you’ll like—you shall hear all about the Sexton of Saragossa,” “ Please, Sir, whereabouts is Saragossa.” “ In Ballinavnara 800, my little dear. Well, this sexton went into the churchyard oue day to dig a grave lor an old nmer, that had starved himself to .death

in a coal cellar.’* Here Mr. Poague groaned shudderingly, and, the flesh of his young audience crept. “ Oh, go on sir, please go on.” “ Well, then, the sexton began digging the grave, and he dug, and dug, and dug, and, first, he threw up a thigh bone; and tnen a scull, and then he came to an old coffin. So he began scraping away the dirt to see whose it was, and while he was doing that, something inside bumped against the lid, and he heard a voice say __ *9 ( ! “ Oh, gracious 1 *» iuterrupted the children. “ * Hababoo diddledy doo, whiskes giddledy woobledy baw*—thats Latin my little dears. ’ Hallo '-says he, * who’s theie ?’ * Put in your pickaxe, and you’ll see/ cries the voice inside. So he just put in the end of his pickaxe —something f,ave it a tug—and when he pulled it out —(the funny gent'emau paused for a moment’ with a look most surperuaturaby owlish, which was reflected by the sympathetic little ones)—*, the end of it—an inch and a half—was gone : it had bean bitten off like a carrot I ” The children all screamed, the grown up people laughed ; but Matilda remarked to Eugene, that <t was a shame to frighten poor little children by telling them such stories. Mr. Poague, after this (to the further beautification of the chubby cherubim), gave a faithful and interesting imitation of the thrush; the sky lark.the nightingale and the parrots at the Zoological Gardens. And then he exhibited a piece of legerdemain. Taking a glass tumbler from the table he wrapped it round with a piece of brown paper, and raising it to his lips, mysteriously gabbling the magic formula, “ crinkum bovis dominie Jovis, hi coculorum jig.*’ He then threw his visage, and thereby the Specta'ors, into convulsions—gave a twirl with his hands, and the funny geutleman was crunching, apparently with great relish, the fragments of glass between his teeth. Another contortion of the countenance, another flour* ish of the hands, and the tumbler was again exhibited—to all appearance none the worse for the experiment. With these, and the like facetiae, did Mr.Poague amuse the inmates and visiters of Pomona Cottage. At the conclusion of the evening he sang a comic song, with a chorus of “ bow. wow, wow,’ which was unanimously encored ; whereupon he sang another, more comic than the first—and just as the clock struck twelve, having then finished his third tumbler of brandy and water, he abruptly took his leave, averring that he was a man of regular habits, and he made a point of never staying out later than miduight. Long did the little Misses and Masters Mogg remember the Funny Gentleman. ENGLISH FASHIONS FOR OCTOBER J Cachemires, silks of every description, displaying peculiar beauty and variety both in colours and style, with velvets, constitute the fashionable materials in prepaiatiou for the season. Gimp continues to be much used ; nor do we see any chance of bugles declining in favour ; indeed fringes, resilles, berthes, and coiffures composed of them are ready to receive the moeud of velvet, the rose, Ac. which mark its use for dress or neglige. In imbroidery, every thing spotted is the fashion, whether in satin stitch, application, or crotchet Suisse ; the spot is either round or oval as the coffee berry; canuezous, collars, crowns of caps, allt are aged or sprigged with them of every gradation ; organdy dresses have flounces covered with rows of spots increasing in size the largest being the size of a one franco piece, others, with tucks, have 'the spots even larger ; this fashion is even extended to pocket handkerchiefs, of which the spots are sometimes coloured. The fineness of the weather has pre eluded all changes in bonnets, the light elegant ones for summer wear have been long seen ; fancy straws are trimmed with the full plailings of ribbon, sometimes two rows of lilac laid on thefront, and a cock’s feather of yellow shaded with lilac as ornament ; others are simply crossed with these plaitings. Ihe autumnal capotes are of sutin or gros de 'fours in pink or blue glace with white, and ornamented with a feather of the colour of the bonnet. Velvet bonnets of violet or green will be ornamented with aigrettes of the heron or queues of the Bird of Paradise, shaded the colour of the bonnet.-