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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XVI, Issue 185, 5 August 1881, Page 2

"Ab for newes," wrote Charles 1. to the Duke of Buckingham, in 1626, " I can Bay but liteil yet, Ireland being the onlie egg we have yet sitten upon, and having a thike shell we have not yet hatched it." And England baa been sitting on that egg ever since. .

People do not always mean what they say. At least, such I presume was the case when the builder of a church in a London suburb, on returning thanks for the toast of his health which had been proposed, remarked:—-"! fancy I am more fitted for the scaffold than for public speaking." An aged negro was recently showing the soars of wounds inflicted by the lash when he was a slave. "What a picture!" exclaimed a sympathising looker-on. " Yes," responded the -coloured brother, "dat's de work ob de old masters."

, A millionaire, who was looking at a level tract of land which he had just bought at an extravagant price, said to the agent who had sold it to him, " I do admire a rich green flat." "So do I," significantly replied the agent.

There is in the Victorian House of Assembly a gentleman named Bowman, who follows the profession of bagman or commercial traveller. A short time ago Mr Bowman rose to suggest the importance of the Government immediately proceeding with an Adulteration Bill, in order to stop the importation of worthless teas. The Attorney-General's reply was short and decisive — "We can't do that, Lut I have given instructions to seize and destroy the green teas sold by the hon. member." Mr Bowman rose in anger to explain, but the Speaker ruled him out of order.

The New York Herald suggests that Ircqnois, the Derby winner, should be reproduced in bronze for the adornment of the Central Park. There are a great many monuments there of all aorta of .creatures, mostly men; but there is not one in the whole collection about which would gather more sympathetic and Bincere admirers than would stand around the magnificent statue of the first American winner of the Derby, The San Francisco Journal of Commerce of Friday the Ist July in announcing its intentention of keeping two days' holiday, «ays: r— " To give our staff and employees the opportnnity of celebrating the Fourth of July es becomes citizenj, no Journal of Commerce wilt be issued Saturday or Monday. Adieu "till Tuesday,"

The King of Ashanteehas paid England f ,000 ounces of gold, which will be very convenient for paying the expenses of our preparations for war, but it is rather hard that he should pay all this money because (as is generally believed) some panic-stricken officials on the Gold Coast imagined he meant to invade our territories.

The Dutch Parliament has passed a bill dealing with the abuse of alcoholic liquors in Holland. The maximum number of licensed house is to be in future one for every 500 inhabitants in cities containing over 50,000* one for every 400 inhabitants in towns of 20,000 to 50,000 people; one for every 300 persons in places containing from 10,000 to 20,666 inhabitants { and one for every 250 people in all places inhabited by a popo'ation of less than 10,000. The bill also provides that all persons convicted of drunkenness io any public place shall be punished with imprisonment without the option of a fine. Miss Fanny Parnell has been making a epeech in Boston Music Hall, in which she declared that it was a Mayo woman who "fired the first shot" in the war by pouring a kettle of hot water on a bailiff. Firing a shot with water, is certainly racy of the soil. |

The Society for the " Propagation of the Holy Script ores " in Russia was founded in 1863. The New Testament and other books have been circulated by colportage in " all directions over Russian territory.'" i It has in 17 years circulated nearly 700,000 boots. The postal savings batik system in England is working very satisfactorily, and is! undergoing modification by wkich economy; is encouraged in children and others of limited means. The latest scheme is that of receiving po9tsge stamp's in deposits. It is nofc^ even necessary for ihe Intending depositor to appear in person at the post office, and in small villages where there is no post, office 'savings bank, a minister of the Gospel or other responsible person may open the account on behalf of the depositor by witnessing a printed form, which can be obtained at any post office savings bank, In this form the depositor declares his intention to open a post office savings bank account, and the person witnessing can then open the account for the depositor by depositing the money with the declaration at the nearest; post office savings bank. Numbers of samples of tea have been purchased in Dunedin by the police, with the view of tracing the spurious teas reported to have come from Melbourne, for forwarding to the analyst. Nothing as yet has; come to light, however. An American journalist hails the advent. of Spring in this poetical raphsody : — ; From off the running rivulet the icy chain is thawed, ; And the flutter of the winglet of the doveletj is abroad s The quaeklet of the ducklet in the brooklet we can hear, And the rootlet of the piglet will presently appear. The married ladies this season in London . carry away the palm of beauty. Lady Lonsdale. Lady Mandeville, Lady Caatlereagh, Lady Dalhoasie, Lady Claude: Hamilton, Mrs Masters and Mrs Arkwright: are the acknowledged sovereigns of lovelineis.

•Mr Stout lectured lately in the old Knox Church, jjnnedin, the subject being, "Why doeg the State interfere with the Liquor Traffic?" He showed that the State regarded as the product of a social compact or aa a social organism, had a right to interfere in <ne liquor traffic The great waste of capital and other evils which resulted from drinking were commented upon, and he mentioned taat, estimated at the retail price, two millions sterling were annually expended in New Zealand on liquor,- or, since 1870, an amount which would build all the railways of the colony. He referred to a resolution of the t-anadiau House of Commons to show that State interference had been attended with success in diminishing drunkenness, and in conclusion he urged upon all present to seek to use their utmost endeavors in the cause of ■temperance. iPhe Rev. A. R. Fiichett, of Dunedin, recently delivered a lecture on the revised version of the New Testament. He traced the history of the authorised version, and of the subsequently discovered manuscripts of great antiquity, and showed the justification there was for the revision, answering objections. He pointed out several of the omissions and alterations in the new version, and the reasons for them. He stated that while no doctrine of the church was affected bv the alterations, some of them were very important, as for instance the use of the verb "to turn" instead of "to be converted." In conclusion, he strongly urged his hearers to a careful study of the new version, and especially the Epistles, which have been made far clearer in several important passages.

Talking of the young Princes an Australian paper says :— On the journey of the Princes from Sooth Australia to Hamilton the coach stopped for a few minutes to change horses at a solitary stable between Penola and Casterton. The morning was chilly, and the young gentlemen availed themselves of the opportunity of promoting circulation by a run round. Presently the younger of the two descried the groom's wheelbarrow, in which he induced his elder brother to enthrone himself, and wheeled him round the stable at a merry pace. Suddenly landing him at the groom's feet he said, " There now, I suppose you'll have that barrow carefully preserved in a glass case." The young gentleman was not unobservant of hero-worship, and I shouldn't wonder if someone gilds the wheel of that barrow.

A Constantinople telegram announced that the ransom demanded for Mr Snter by his ciptors has been paid, and Mr Suter has been released by the brigands and was expected to arrive at Salonica in the course of a few bonrs. The telegram does not say What amount of ransom was paid for him. The Jewish World aajs the chief changes 16 observes in the Revised New Testament tell altogether in favor of Judaism. The London Tablet makes an almost similar statement in regard to Roman Catholicism, and the Freethinkers declare that the changes are all in favor of their viewß. A beautiful thought appreciated : An excited old maid in a temperance lodge a few evenings since read an original poem entitled. "The Lips that Touch Liquor Bhal! Never Touch Mine," and the joang men present gave her three cheers.

The following advertisement appears in the London Timet :— "New Zealand Christian Settlement. — Christians abont to emigrate and take up land for agricultural and pastoral pursuits are desirous of meeting with other like minded capitalists to join them.— Apply to C, Young Men's Christian Association, Exeter-hall, Strand." Without at all depreciating the excellent intentions of the promoter, the history of past attempts at colonization in this fashion shows that the Bpirit of discord speedily enters the Arcadia. A man may be a very good Christian but a very poor specimen as a candidate for the "heroic work of colonization." As the Bey J. Upton Davis remarks, " Religion is religion, and business i3 business," Under the heading "A comet on the iramp," the San Francisco correspondent of the Auckland Herald writes .—Since the end of the world and the antics of the starry bodies are the topics of the day, I suppose I may as well give a sketch of the important stranger who is now delighting the scientific world, tramp thongh it be — which means that the fiery visitor has dashed in upon us unexpectedly, unheralded, and unknown. Thi3 beautiful luminous creature appeared about three o'clock a.m., first to a poor newspaper^ scribe who was out on his round in the chill morning hours. The nucleus is larger somewhat than the planet Venus, round, with a piece cut off, as it were, on the lower left-hand corner, the flaming tail towering upward into space ; resembling closely the comet of 1874, that one heing, however, more brilliant than our present one, whose body, thongh bright and luminous, has a tail as ganzy as a woman's white lace veil. As the beautiful star appears nightly, tne people, filled with vague superstition, imagine that the end of this small planet of ours is merely postponed, and that the comet is about, sooner or later, to demolish it. A terrible explosion has taken place at Tuscon, Arizona, and spectators aver that the blown np magazine was touched by the comet's tail as they " watched it " come in contact with the earth. Also the great rainfall which snprised us in June is laid at the door of thi3 stream of light, it being understood in scientific circles that the earth passed through the heavenly visitor's tail, which entailed the storm upon us. The town is so disgustingly dull that even a comet is welcome.