WOMAN.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XVI, Issue 24, 28 January 1881, Page 4

WOMAN.

The following speech is said to have been delivered by Mark Twain at the I Correspondents' Club dinner, Washington : — Mr President,— l don't know ; why I have received the greatest distinction of the evening, for so the office of replying to the toast of " Woman " has been regarded in every age. But lam proud of the position, because, sir, I love the sex — I love all women, sir, irrespective of age or color. (Laughter.) Mean intelligences cannot estimate what we owe to woman, sir. She sews on our buttons, mends our clpthes, confides in us, tells us whatever she can find out about the little private affairs of the neighbors. (Laughter.) She gives us advice, and plenty of it ; she gives us a piece of her mind sometimes and sometimes all of it. (Laughter.) V^herever you place, woman, sir, she is an ornament to that place which she occupies, and a treasure to the world. Look at Cleopatra,, look at Desdemona, look at Florence Nightingale, look at Lucrezia Borgia. (Voices : " No, W") (The speaker pauses as if in doubt.) Well, supppge you let Lucrezia slide ? (Laughter.) Look at Mother Eve. (Cries of " Oh, oh," and laughter.) You need not look at her unless you want- to (pauses reflectively)—but Eve was an ornament, sir, particularly before the fashion changed. (Renewed laughter.) Irepeat, sir, look at the illustrious Widow Machree, look at Lucy Stone, look at Elizabeth Stanton, and, sir, I say it with bowed head and deepest veneration look at the another of Washington ; she " dragged up " a boy that could not lid — could not lie ! It might have been different had he belonged t6 a Newspaper Correspondents' Club. (Grroaing, hisses, cries of "Put him out," and laughter.) I repeat, sir, that in whafc ever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the world. As a sweetheart she has few equals, and no superiors. (Laughter. As a cousin, she is convenient; as a^ wealthy grandmother, with an inctirabie distemper, she is unspeakably precious. What would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, perfectly soarce. (Renewed laughter.) Then let us cherish lieiy let us protect her, let ; u'a : -give* her bur suppori, our .encpuragemeot, our svra-

pathy, ourselves if -we get a chance. (Lajughter:) Putting jesting aside, Mr. President, woman is loveable, kind of heart, gracious; beautiful, -worthy of alt j respect, of all deference. Not any here wiH refuse to drink her health right cordially, in this goblet of wine, for each .'and every one of us has known,: loved, and honored the best of them all — his own mother.' (Great applause.)