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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XV, Issue 81, 5 April 1880, Page 4

Gandid;;— "Now, tell me candidly, are yon guilty ?P asked a lawyer of his client in a country jail .-4" Why do you suppose I'd be fool enough to hire you if I was innocent?" An ill-natured man 'being seen to blush, it was asked what the cause was. — :" Oh," said a witty lady, " the cross old creature happened to smile, and he feels ashamed of it." It is a fact not generally known that the Bank of England supports a rifle corps of its 'own, which, in time, it is intended shall do away with the necessity of drafting a force every night from one of the household regiments to guard the national money chest. ,K. had a bad fall, from which he has not recovered. One of his friends asked how he was getting on. 'Poor fellow,' was the reply, ' very badly: since his trouble he is almosb an idiot.' ' Why then, the fall improved him; before, he was altogether one. Country practioner (surprised at the visit of a notorious quack and pill -vendor) — " Well, what brings you here.?" Quack (evidently suffering from disturbed. peristalic action) — Well, sir, the fact is I feel rather queer, and-r" Country practioner — if Then why don't you take one of your 'pearls of health?' " v Quack — " That's just it, sir ! I think I've i swallowed one by mistake 1 "

Not Worth Keeping. — A correspondent asks. — "How long can bottled cider be kept ?" That depends upon circumstances. If you put it into a safe, lock it up, and sling the key into the rijtfr, you can keep it for some time, but you won't get much fun out of it. — Boston Post.

aspirations ? What chance ot leaving his footprints on the sands of time ? For him, alas, there is nought but dark despair and self-reproach for a fast life. For a man to leave his footprints on the Bands of time, he mußt be endowed with a : Etrong brain end nervous po«rer. He must possess a strong, vigorous, healthy mind in a healthy hody — the power to conceive — the energy to execute! But look at our Außtralan youth i See the emaciated form, .the vacant look, the listless, heeitating manner, the nervoua distrust, the senseless, almost iliotic expression. Note his demeanor a?d conversation, and then say. Is that a man to leave At* footprints on the esnds of time. Do parents, medical men, and educators of youth pay sufficient attention to this subject ? Do they ever -ascertain the cauee of this decay ? and having done so, do they (as a strict sense of duty demands) seek the skilled advice of the medical man, wh> has made this branch of his profession his particular epeciality, whos^ life has been devoted to the treatment of these casts ? Reader, what is your answer ? Let each one answer for himself. Parents Bee their progeny fadirg gradually before their eight, ees them become emaciated, old young n>en, broken down in health, enfeebled, utfltted for the battle of ife ; *yet one word inigu save them, one lound and "vigorous health-giving: letter from a medical man, habituated to the treatment and continuous supervision -ot such cases, wouli in moßfi instanceo succeed in raiding off the. impending doom oi a miserable and gloomy future, and by appropriate treatment restore the enervated system to its natural vigor, and ensure a joyous and happy life. Dr. L. L. SMITB, of Melbourne, has made the diseases of youth and those arising therefrom bis peculiar study. His whole professional life has been especially devoted to the treatment of Nervous affections and the Diseases incidental to Married Life, His efciil is available to all— no matter how many hundreds or thousands of miles distant. His system of correspondence by letter is now bi well organised and known, that comment would, beL superflou8 — (by this means many' thousand's ; of patients have been cured,'w,homhe has never seen and never known); and it is carried on with such judicious supervision that though he has been practising this branch of his profession for twenty-eix years , in these colonies, no single instance of accidental discovery has ever yet happened. When medicines are required, thess are forwarded in the came careful manner,. without a possibility of tbe contents of. the parcels being discovered. Plain and clear directions accompany these latter, and a cure ia effected without even the physician knowing who is his patient. To Men and Women wiih Broken-down Constitution a, the Nervoua and Debilitated; all eufferingr from uny-disease whatever, Dr. Lt. L, Smith's plan of treatment commends itself, avoiding as it does tho inconvenience and expense of a personal visit. Address— DR. L. L. SMITH, 182, COLLINS STREET BAST, • ■'MELBOURNE (Late tho residence of the Governor.) Consultation Fee by Letter, jEI.