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Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIV, Issue 181, 31 July 1879, Page 2

It is perfectly true (says the Dunedin Star) that the legend of a whale having been stranded on the Ocean Beach (which was invented by a well-known dramatic author), induced several citizens — leading and otherwise — to forsake the busy mart of commerce, and on business or pleasure bent, to make their way to the sandhills. A well-known insurance agent, immediately on hearing the news, rushed off to a speculative friend — a publican immediately convenient — and the two being well up in the laws of " flotsam and jetsam," hired a swift cab, determiued to be the first to take possession. The publican at the last moment dashed into the hotel, and seizing the largest carving knife he could find, returned to the cab with it in his hand — to the great astonishment of the whole establishment, the German waiter stoiidly observing, " I always said how he vash do it — hem." When they arrived near the railway station, intent, it is to be presumed, upon at once climbing the whale and cutting their names on him as an act of possession, they found a small crowd of the St. Kilda aboriginals assembled, who had been welcoming other arrivals by train. It was a horrid Bell, and X., who had the carving knife, had to conceal it within his garments after the i fashion of the clown in a pantomime, and was in mortal terror, not without reason, of carviog a piece out of bis own anatomy. He is of opinion that it is exceedingly difficult to move gracefully, or sit down with ease, under the circumstances of a long carver down the right leg of one's trousers. We clip the following from the British and Colonial Printer for May : — " An old journalist is mentioned as one of the probabie Conservative candidates for the United boroughs of Falmouth and Penryn. Sir Julius Yogel, who was editor of an Otago daily paper, and who is now Agent-General of New Zealand (and was at one time its Prime Minister), is the new aspirant to Parliamentary fame." A singular fact, Fays a Wellington paper, in connection with three different steamboat agents is perhaps worthy of note Each firm, of course, has a shipping clerk. One is named Pope, another Bishop, and the third Deacon. All three have their offices under the same roof, and are in no way connected with one another. — Standard. A siugular instance of police supervision is thus referred to by the New Zeatander, and has reference to one of the English Opera Company :— We would ask whether it is generally understood that a prisoner apprehended on the charge of being about to fraudulently leave the Colony, and lodged in gaol, is permitted to solace himself in the evening at the place of public entertainment, accompanied by his chere amie, even with a guardian of the law in close attendance. We saw an instance of this last evening, and it seemed worth making a note of. In speaking on the address in reply Mr Tomoaua said that his people had agreed in having Sir George Grey to rule the country and look after native affairs as he had promised to do. He had called them all his children. This was the third session he had been in office, but he did not see that these promises had been carried out. Where were the good results that had been promised ? They had not come. The Maori people were greatly grieved. The Government should have conducted the affairs of the loyal natives. All the tribes did not now see the necessity of this Government remaining in office any longer. When be saw the troubles that had arisen, and the Maoris in prison, he felt sad. What evil had they done. In all the fights Maoris had assisted the Europeans, but the Europeans had not assisted the Maoris. There had not been a fight in this Island where the Maori had not assisted the pakeha. Why should it be so persistently said that the Maori people were bad ? He was grieved too because those lands had been given back to the Maori. They had been taken into custody on that very land, and this was the Government that was to right them— not that he agreed with the Opposition, they were the same. (Laughter.) Were the Opposition to get into power they would act in the same way. There were troubles on the East Coast which had not been investigated. He and his tribe at Pakowhai were in trouble. A bailiff had been sent to his place— a place where a bailiff had never been before. That was tbe reason why he should not support the Government, but should go over the Opposition. (Laughter.) His opinion was that they should vote that night, and settle the thing one way or the other. (Cheers and laughter.) William Tell shuddered when he shot the apple from bis son's head because it was an arrow escape. Two brothers lately died iv Deering, Me., who occupied one room in their house for all purposes. They had a perfect arsenal of old weapons, mended their harness in the room where they slept and eat ; and on the smokebegrimed walls kept their accounts and diary of events which ran back to 1840. They never changed their clothes, and. lived on 45 a year each. The most enterprising reporter in town found it impossible to get up any gloom ores their demise.

The Sydney Meat-preserving Coriipany, who have adopted the Chicago compressing process, are doing an immense business. The Quakers of South Australia are petitioning the Assembly against the teaching of military drill in the public schools. The Hon Mr Scotland (says the Chronicle) has given notice to move, That, in the opinion of this Couucil, when owing to exceptional circumstances, the available police force is considered insufficient for the preservation of brder in any district, the proper manner of supplepientlug it is for, the Magistrate to swear in special constables, and not for the residents to take the law into their own hands by constituing themselves a vigilance committee, such as the one lately formed at Waitara, Taranaki." As an amendment to this we understand it will be moved that the hon. gentleman should himself be placed under the charge of a vigilance committee until he recovers his mental equilibrium. A Lyttelton Tmes of last week says: — The time-honored pastime was generally of snowballing indulged in throughout thecityon Monday, and persons on business intent, found it necessary to "duck" when passing by-ways or turning corners to avoid the rapid discharges of snowballs. In Gloucester-street, opposite the Telegraph Office, this fan took the form of a stand-up flght between sotne men residing in a boarding house in that street and a lot of boys. As the former were getting rather the worst, some of them began to lose their temper, and a constable arrived on the scene just in time to prevent the boys being roughly handled. In the crossfire during the battle, one of the large panes in the Telegraph Office window was broken. Referring to Mr Macandrew, Mr Wakefield in his speech on Wednesday night said : —The Hon. the Minister for Public Works had made large numbers of promises, but kept very few of them. He did not blame him for breaking them, but he blamed him for making them. (Name them.) Oh, he could not name them, it would take all the night, and he wanted to bring the debate to a close. (Laughter.) He would, however, mention one, which was the promise made by him in reference to the Oamaru railway station — one of the most important in the colony. If they wanted to find the other places, they had only to go to the places where the special trains had stopped, and where the Minister for Public Works had been waited upon by deputations, to make promises which he had quite forgotten as soon as they were out of sight. The large votes placed on the Estimates last year had been most capriciously expended, in a manner that was never intended by the House. (Hear, hear.) He instanced the large amount ' (£3000) expended on a Police Court at a miserable little country village, while the Resident Magistrate's Court at Christchurch was in such a condition that when it rained the Magistrate told the people to put on their macintoshes and to put up their umbrellas. (Laughter.) And so the disorganisation went on over the whole country. And yet it was extraordinary the amount of work Mr Macandrew had managed to get through in the province of Otago. (Laughter.) And yet not a single mile of the provincial railway had been made in Canterbury during the recess, But a short time ago, just before the House met, the hon. gentleman suddenly broke out into tenders, at which the people only laughed, for they knew exactly what they meant. (Laughter.) la this question of railways, there could be no doubt that Otago bad secured a very large amount of favor, while other provincial districts had to be content with very little bits here and there. (Hear, hear.) It was true there had been a large contract for a bridge, but the railway line itself, he believed, had never been surveyed. Was such a system of engineering ever known? The hon. gentlemau had thrown away a large amount of money in this way, and mismanaged the department in a way that was highly discreditable. If Chaucer was the first father of English poetry, was Chaucer's sister poetry's aunt ?