THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 192, 10 August 1878, Page 2

THE WEEK.

Monday was a holiday. It was a Statute holiday. That is to say, it had been considered desirable by the British Parliament that the clerks, shopmen, aud others employed in the great cities should have an opportunity of breaking the long dreary spell of work between her Majesty's Birthday in the merry spring month of May and that of his Koyal Highness the Prince of Wales in the wet, foggy, sloppy month of November. So the British Parliament came to the conclusion [ that a holiday in the glorious summer month of August would be a great boon to those engaged in sedentary occupations in musty offices situated in smoky towns, nnd they selected the first Monday in that month as a suitable day. In New Zealand we have followed suit, and consequently most of the business people in town put up their shutters last Monday, and those who did not entirely close put one blind up, which looked as though the proprietors of the establishments thus semi-darkened were half ashamed of themselves, but whether for half opening or half closing was not apparent. The consequence was that the city of Nelson had a gloomy look— not nearly so cheerful as on the occasion of a public funeral because there was no procession and no Band playing the Dead March in Saul. A few refreshing showers fell during the day, and the mud- in the streets was on an average 2\ inches deep. To escape it, several pleasure seekers drove or went by train into the country. There the depth was 3| inches. People seemed glad when night came, but there was a drawback to the enjoyment of their evening hours, for it so happened that the purifiers at the gasworks had also been celebrating the Statute holiday, and had declined to perform their customary functions od that day. The result was— well, I will state it as described to me by a friend on Tuesday morning. He said he had gone to bed on the previous night with the sensation of having sucked a peuuy that had been soaking in an unemptied pigwash tub for the space of four weeks, and afterwards hung up to dry in the smoke arising from burning green pepper-mint-gum leaves. It never was my privilege to have a penny in my mouth that had been aubjected to such peculiar treatmeut, but my impression is that he intended to convey the idea that the taste of the smell of the gas on that night was extremely nasty, and therein lam quite at one with him. Having commenced the week under such circumstances, I may be excused if my letter to day displays a little ill humor on the part .of the writer. I see that Mr Hursthouse has been bringing before the Parliament and the public of New Zealand a grievance of which he has an undoubted right to complain in having been accused by the police of New Plymouth of taking part in the destruction of the triumphal arch erected in honor of Sir beorge Grey, the fact being that at the time

it was torn down he was miles away. Mr '' Sheehan admitted that he had been wrong* fully accused, but suggested to him that a public man should not be so thin skinned as to feel hurt by such charges. From which I gather that in the opinion of Mr Sheehan a public man has no right to 'com- ' plain if his political oppouents telegraph 1 through the length and breadth of the colony that he has acted as a fool aud a blackguard when, as a matter of fact, he has done no thing of the kind. Pleasant this for public m'ch\ They have started a hew theory over in Takaka with regrird to the origin df fires. In Nelson we have been Content to accept the commonplace explanation, in the event of some mysterious blaze breaking out; that there must have been rats; arid that' there must have been matches iu thfe bufht building, and that the two having come iu contact had caused the fire. But the inventive genius of Takaka soars higher, or burrows lower — I am not sure which is the more correct expression to use-thau that, [and attributes a fire of which " the origin is uuknown" to puppies having gone into the fireplace and scattered burning ashes from thence through the room. Rats, henceforth trot off with your matches between your teeth, and hide your diminished heads. You are out of the running now altogether. 1 et me relate a true anecdote, the subject of which is servantgirlism. A lady with her family of four or five young children was (fearing oue of the .New Zealand potts fdr another— it is needless to particularise the localities. On going ou board the steamer she naturally required assistance in 3towiug her packages and looking after the youngsters, so she called Iw .-ervunt Mary, who had been engaged to go with her, but Mary was nowhere t<> he found. She hunted high and low, hut in vain. That Mary had come down to the port was ceruiu, tor there was the indisputable evidence of the cabman who had driven her to the wharf. But she was not to be i'ouud when the steamer left her mooting, and so the lady had before her the pleasant prospect of looking after the children herself. It was a rough night-passage ot" tome thirteen hours, exclusive of the stoppage at an intermediate port. The children were sick, very sick, and so was their mother, who nevertheless had to attend to the many wants of her suffering little ones. Bnt ihe journey came to all end at last, and just before leaving the steamer the lady said to the stewardess " You are going back to , would you mind taking charge of this ticket, which I hail taken for my servant, who seems to have missed the steamer. I daresay it will hold good for her on the next trip." From just behind her there came a voice that was not unfamiliar. " What was that you was a saying about me Mum? Me miss the steamer! Why I'd scorn to do such a thing when I'd given my word that I'd come with you. I've been lying down all the time in my cabin, as I was afraid I should be seasick if I moved about, or else I should have come, out to see how you and the children was getting on." I am sorry to say that Mary did not adhere strictly to the truth in making this statement. The fact was that she was

acquainted with one of the officers, aud, together with another lady, had taken her meals in his cabin, spi;nt a pleasant chatty evening during the time that it was his watch below, and when he had to go on deck the two ladies were accommodated with bunks in a cabin belonging to another of the officers, who was not travelling in the boat that trip. On the whole, Mary had a far more pleasant time of it than her mistress. Bill Swiper is a shrewd fellow in his way. When first he read the Financial Statement he laughed at the imposition of a miserable little tiiree-luilfpenuy tax on every gal'ou of beer brewed, aud thought that it could not possibly affect him or others who, like him, are fond of a " drop 0' good beer." But he has thought over the matter deeply and seriously since, and the result of his cogitations he con tided to me last night in, as nearly as I can remember, the following words: — "He's a downright clever fellow that Ballance. He's stuck on beer a tax that' will bring in a lot of money without giving the publicans an excuse for raising the price of a glass. But he's a dodger, he is, and I can see what he's up to right enough. The publicans cau'fc ask you to pay more than threepence a glass, and yet they can't afford to lose the I.UI a gallon. What then? Why they'll have to get smaller glasses. But they can't get smaller ones in the colony than they've got already, so they must send home to have them specially made for them. That means a lot of duty on the new tumblers. That'll score one to Ballance. Then you'll want magnifying glasses to see the tumblers. That'll be a fresh lot of duty. Oh ! he's a smart fellow that Ballancs and no mistake." All you who are married or who are about to marry, carefully read the Financial Statement, and, before you are half way through it, you will be throwing up your hats and I bonnets aud cheering loudly for Mr Ballance. Do you ask me the reason why? Well, listen while I whisper it to you. He has j taken the import duty off perambulators! ! P. I