THE WEEK.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIII, Issue 150, 22 June 1878, Page 2

THE WEEK.

Everyone who has hesrd Sir George Grey speak or who has read the speeches made by him and ; his immediate followers must have noticed that they have always expressed the most profound horror of anything like bribery or corruption. Perfect fairness and even-handed justice to all men is the motto they have adopted, and that they would carry thi3 into practice might have been reasonably expected of them, v But, aa~ so frequently happens, there is in their case a dissimilarity between theory^ aiid practice. 3?or instance there is Mr Sees the ProConsul's warmest adherent and most intiirate friend. I wonder what he would have said if some lawyer on the Opposition side had ventured to send in a bill of costs against the Government for £900, when upon examination by the properly constituted authority it was decided that he was only entitled to two-thirds of that sum. And yet this very mistake has been made by Mr Sees himself. However, that is all settled now, the Taxing Officer having decided that the error had been committed of turning a figure upside down, so for £900, £600 has been substituted, the somersaulting figure representing the hundreds having been upended and placed in its proper position by the representative of the Court appointed to look into such matters. But it was not about Mr Rees that I commenced with the intention of speaking, but rather of the Premier, who detests anything in the shape of unfair play as he has so often stated in public. And yet his actions, are scarcely in accordance with these high-minded principles, so far as they apply to the treatment of

newspapers. In fact he is making tiae of, public mortey to purcfiase the' support of the preasi The rule he has laid down ia that newspapers supporting his Ministry shall receive a subsidy in the shape of the price paid for Govertinbeat advertisements} those in opposition shall noti for instance, in Christchurch there are two journals of equally high repute, and both equally well conducted. The one in opposition was surprised, at not receiving the Government advertiSetiients as heretofote, and remonstrated against such treatment wheh a feply was received to theeffect that there Was only a certain sum of money to be spent upon" advertising, and the Government intended to bestow.their favors upon that portion of the press alotle which supported' them. Ir was a bold declaration to make, and probably no Ministry has ever before stated in plainer terms that they intended to do all in their power to buy up ihe public press. As it was rather neatly put is \M newspaper I was reading the other day- if you" Wftilt tdiiitow the politics of a New Zealand journal odow-a-days all you have to do is to look ; at the advertising columns, or if you are desirous of ascertaining whether it is of any use to look in it for Government notices take a glance at the leading articlfe instead of wading through the advertising col utnh<L .-..-. ' In connection with advertisements 1 may mention that I have met with a- curiosity during the week. Some people and papers when they want to be funny refer to Nelson as " Sleepy Hollow." The joke is getting a little stiilei but it sho#s that there is an impression abroad that thefa is something wrong with our eyes. Now I have come to the conclusion that although their eyes may be all right, the residents of Christchurch must be terrible sufferers from diseases of the ear. My reason for saying so is that in one of the papers published in that' city there is a five-cotumix adyeftisetoeintf in '.which a certain Professor announces that he [is prepared to restore the hearing of tHoie afflicted with deafness, no matter what was tbe'original cause. To pay for such an advertisement it would take all awful lot of deaf people, and we may be sure that Professor «*=~, who evidently ba3 a keen eye to business, had pretty well satisfied himself of their existence before investing so much money with the printer. This Professor, who describes himself as. " the only Palestinian aurist in the world/ has published a tremendous list of i testimonials to the efficacy of his treatment, from the perusal of which I have derived some little amusement, 1 which I should like to be shared with me by my readers. The first is from a gentleman of a pious ttarn of mind, whose deafness was caused by "a fall from a height on the back of ' his head," but now be says "Thank God and ! St. Patrick lam cured and can hear anything." The patron saint of ould Ireland is credited with having driven all the reptiles out of the country with which he is said to have been so intimately connected, but I never before heard of his using his personal influence to assist an aurist, even though he should be a "Palestinian" one, in curing j deafness* Another gentleman tells thepeo-; pie of Christchurch through the medium of a letter to the Professor:— "I have pleasure in testifying I find little defect in the social circle, or public hall. I may add I never knew what it was to hear a sermon through until the past fortnight." I know a lot of people who are troubled with a deafness past Professor ' curing id this respect, that is to say if an opinion may be formed of the knowledge they possess ten minutes after it is over of what was said in the course of the sermon, A third is so intensely grateful to the Professor for the relief he has afforded him that he will not allow anyone to speak in disparaging terms of the great aurist, as may be gathered from the following:— "Dear Sir, Having seeu a letter from a certain Mudge stating you could only cure what any old woman could do, I may say that Mudge is quite wrong. I am, Dear Sir, &c, &c." I trust that this letter waa # as humiliating to the libellous " Mudge " as it must have been gratifying to the eminent Professor. There is one more of the testimouialists who writes a letter, the sentences of which are so curiously involved that one Jis driven to the conclusion that in an excess of gratitude he had determined upon sacrificing the English grammar at the shrine of his benefactor. There are many more letters in the advertisement, but I have contsnted myself with picking out one or two of the most sparkling gems, and in conclusion I have only to say that the Professor and his patients have afforded me so much amusement that I sincerely trust the former will have a successful season in Christchurch. Having occasion to enter the bar of a public bouse last night I was accosted by one present with the friendly greeting "How are you old man, will you have a refresher?" I bad been reading the paper that evening and had seen the word used there in the following connection :—'.' Mr Sees, refresher, £275," "Mr Hislop, refresher, £137 10s." Putting two and two together with the swiftness of thought I for the moment believed that the stroke of good luck I have been looking for for so many years but Which has not come yet, had at last arrived, and that I had met with a friend who was about, to refresh me even as Mr Eees and Mr Hislop desired to be refreshed. What then waa my disappointment when, upon my accepting the invitation, he who had given it turned to the dispenser of good things behind the bar and said, "Now Miss, please give this gentleman a glass of beer." The hoped for hundreds had disappeared itto space and in their place stood a threepenny drink; I felt very much as Mr Bees must have done when his bill came back from the Taxing Officer. Being desirous of passing a pleasant and profitable half hour I last evening strolled into the Council Chamber, just to see how things were getting on there, and I may at once say that during my short stay in the room I learned more of the manners and customs of Councillors than I had known before. I found that while they expect their bye-laws to be obeyed outside the Chamber, they have not the slightest respect for them inside. One of them runs as follows:— "No Councillor shall speak the second time on the same question." Now this is the way the Councillors are guided by their own rules. A lawyer's letter was received regarding some Corporation property, and a discussion commenced, of the speakers in which, and in the order of their addressing the Chair, each other, and nobody in particular, I took the following note:— Councillor Everett opened the ball, aud after him there came in the order named Cr. Crewdson, Cr. Webb, Cr. Little, Cr. Everett, Cr. Crewdson, Cr. Everett, Cr. Crewdson, Cr. Harley, Cr. Crewdson; Cr. Little, Cr. Crewdson; then a triangular conversation between Crs. Everett, Crswdson, and Harley. At this stage.of the proceedings it suddenly occurred to Cr. Everett that there was no specific motion before the Council, so he moved a resolution, and Cr Levien, Cr. Little, Cr. Everett, and Cr. Crewdson having once, more addressed the Council, it was carried. Haying recovered my breath which . had been almost taken away by this astounding display of eloquence, I turned to. one who was sitting near me and remarked, "Why, the very cabbies set an example which might well be followed by the Councillors. There is a byeJaw which must cause them considerable inconvenience at times, and yet they never break it. I refer to that which compels them to carry lights after dark." "Yes," replied my cynical f riend,. "but the bobbies look after the cabbies " (glancing; round the Chamber) "There's no policeman here you see." Then we left, F,