HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 62, Issue 19, 23 January 1937, Page 9 (Supplement)

HUMOUR

There ere a great many jokes about telegrams, but one more story needs mentioning. It hinges on the substitution of just one letter in an otherwise eorrect message. It seem* that a doctor was in charge of a confinement case, the patient being his best friend’s wife. The good woman gave birth to triplets, and the doctor hurriedly telegraphed the father, who had been forced to remain in another city. We may appreciate the chagrin of the father when he read: “Congratulations Mary gave birth to three boys this morning litter follows.”

Bastus hobbled down the street with his foot in a bandage. “Say, Bastus,’* said Sambo, “what trouble youse been getting into!” - Youse know that steam hammer at the place where ah works?” said Bastus. “Sure, it must weigh about twenty tons,” replied Sambo, blinking in surprise. “Yes, dat’s de one,” went on Bastus. “Well, the other day it dropped on mah head, and there must have bin some glass under mah foot, ’cos it got cut.**

Wrong Box A school inspector was putting a class of youngsters through a Scripture les* “Now, Tommy,” he said, “why did Joseph's brothers put him in the pit?” “Because he had a coat of many colours,” replied the boy. 4 ‘Yes; and what has that to do with his being put in the pit?” continued the inspector. “Well,” said the boy, “if Joseph had had dress clothes on, they might have put him in the stalls.”

Second-Hand. The small boy had been upstairs and had kissed his newly-arrived sister. When he got back to the drawing-room, nurse asked him: “Are you glad to have a nice little sister?” “No,” he answered. “I’d rather have a brother.” **Theu we shall have to send her back and change her for a brother,” said the nurse. With a sneer of contempt for the nurse's ignorance the boy answered: “How can we change her now? We’ve used her.'*

Doubtful. Two burglars were intent on entering a house. Oue of them had climbed ou to the gardeu wall, but hesitated betore dropping down ou the other side. Ihe second burglar said from below: “Hurry up, Bill, 1 want to come.” But the mau on the wall queried in a hoarse whisper: “Do you hear the bloomin’ dogf” “Yus,” said the other man, 4 ‘but don't you know that a dog’s bark is alway 3 worse than bis bite?” “L know that, aud you know it,” said the mau ou the wall, “but docs the dog know it?”