MISCELLANEA.

Kumara Times, Issue 1509, 29 July 1881, Page 2

MISCELLANEA.

“ Asmodeus,” in the New Zealand Mai!, wiites of a scene in a Wellington street thus : —A cab stops and deposits its occupant on the side-walk. He was a portly person, a regular heavy weight, and this was observed by another “ cabby,” who, alive to the interest of his calling, said, “ You should have m ide that customer pay double fare, Bill.” “ No good trying it on in that quarter,” said the other, “ them customers is up to everything.” “ Ho,” was the contemptuous reply,, “a Member, I suppose. You are right, old man, no hope there.” Skin-flints do sometimes get bitten. There is a bank manager at H (says a contemporary) who has the credit of being as mean as any man in the district. Hares are his weakness, and a friend coming over to Christchurch, he thought he saw a chance of getting one cheap, so he particularly requested that one should be sent to him in reply to the usual question, “ Can I do anything for you over there?” By-and-bye he received a telegram, “ Two hares by to-morrow's coach,” and, overjoyed, he went to the office, on the arrival of the mail. Sure enough there was a small hamper, out out of one corner of which a hate’s foot peeped. “This is for me- I’ll take it,' he said. “ Twelve-and-six-

pence tp pay,” was the reply, and with a sigh he “ parted.” Home he went, rejoiced to think of his cheap luxury, and when; on nhpftckirig the hamper, he saw too fat “ pussies-,” he nibbed his hands with glee-. When his cook went a little later tp him; and told him they wgre only hare’s skies stuffed with sawdttst, he took ill. Here is a word for boys.—Carlyle once asked an Edinburgh student (who tells the stoV-y in he Milwaukee Sentinel) what he was studying for. The youth replied that he had\not quite made up his mind. ThereXwbs a sudden lightning flash of the Jld Scotch* man’s eye, a sudden pulling down of the shaggy eyebrows, and the stern face grew sterner Hs he Said i—“ The man without a rudder—a waif, a nothing, a no man. Have a purpose in life, if it is only to kill and divide and sell oxen well, but have a purpose j and having it, throw such strength of mind and mtlscle into your work as God has given you !” • Two colored individuals out at La Grange the other day, held the follow* iilg dialogue: —“ Jim, sposen dnfe are six chickens in de Coop and sposen three of dem are sold, how many's left?’* “ What’s time o’day was in, den 1 kirl tell youi” “ What’s de time ob day got to do wid it ?” “ It's got a heap to do wid itj bekase sposen it was de night time and you happened to be in de neighbourhood of dat coop, dar would 1 have been none of de chickens left.” Schoolmaster :—“ Noah had three sons—Shera, Ham, Japhet; now answer me, who was the father of these gentle* men ?” (Boys silent.) “ You cannot tell 1 Well, now, let’s try again. Yoil know Mr. Sparkes, who lives over the way- T Boys : “ Will Sparkes t” Master 4 . “Yes, surely. Well, then, MrJ Sparkes has got three boys—Tommy, John, and Bill, Now who is the father of those boys'? You know them very well ”? Boys: “ Mr. Sparkes.” Master: “ Yery good—very good, boys, indeed j that is quite right. Now, then, Noah had three sons Shem, Ham, and Japhet. Who—” Boys (in a hurry): “Mr Sparkes.”