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Feilding Star, Volume XVIII, Issue 74, 24 September 1896, Page 2

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- - — v . — (By Somnus). I retired to rest the other night in my usual state of health, when I had a strange dream which I will eDdeav»r to relate. I saw a figure appear at my bedside, dressed in tornbrc iiiack, wearing a white lie, which seei'-rd to want washing Hi» pair, feature! bcro a selfsatisfied smile, ard a luminous halo encircled his head. " I am the Spirit of Prohibition," said he in a sepulchral tone. " How are you, sir ?" Baid I, " pray be seated," and I pointed to a chair at my bedside " Unsophisticated mortal, listen I Jam sent to nl.(.w you tha the Majority must aD.I has ruled, and that Prohibition reigns supreme in this fair land of yours." '• I wish I had known that last night, for I would then have taken nnto me an extra night cap, 0 Most Omniscient'" " Peace, mortal, no profanity. Arise, and 1 will _ show you our regenerated world," said he, rubbing his nose, which was red (no doubt with coldi. "Certainly," I replied, " but I am rather particular whom 1 associate with without an introduction. Now tell me," here I made a rush for my "unmentionables," "are you sent by Peter to enlighten me and raise me fvom the depth of degradation which an occasional glass has plunged me, or, may be, you being the spectre of a minister, is it that the Other Gentleman has sent you ? I also wish to know if your mission is one of pure, disinterested love to your fellow men ? " Know, foolish youth, that my mission is one of love, which always brings its own reward. It has done so to me in the most tangible form," said be, taking his fingers from his nose to slap his trousers pocket. "O, Spirit of Prohibition, after what you tell me, I feel very much inclined to join your ranka, for I require something tangible at present myself," said I, buttoning my waistcoat. " Will you join me in the last ' tot ' lam allowedjto take in this enlightened conntry for the air is bitterly cold." I thereupon produced a small flask. " Well," said that noble spectre, "II think I will," and he gazed furtively around the room and peeped through the keyhole. " This is purely medicinally, purely medicinally," and, taking a pull as long as his face, he smacked his lips. But, suddenly remembering bis mission, he made a hideous grimace, " I prefer the Bohea from the far East, it invigorates the mind and loosens the tongue to rational converse." "So I've heard," said I, " It must; indeed make people noble and unselfish, for will they not, while imbibing the fragrant herb, speak of everyone's business but their own ? Now come along, sir, and show me this new world of yours, and don't forget your halo, for my landlady objects to have such things lying about" We went forth unto the reformed world. I at once noticed a marked difference. The women wore bloomers and looked masculine and severe. The poor men had a dejected and henpecked appearance. We entered an hotel, much against my friend's will. This hostelry had formerly been noted for the comfort, civility, and good living it had always dispensed to its many customers. Oh, what a difference now I The meals I saw served were simply scandalous, the furniture dilapidated, and the charges abnormally high. " How do you account for these things, O ever wise one," said I. " Thou art sceptical," he replied with a ghastly grin. "We have, unfortunately, found it necessary to increase taxation on all articles of food, besides we Prohibition* ists are not a travelling public. Therefore, we glory in the number of souls we save to the detriment of a few. I wonld have you remember our creed is the majority must rnle, no matter what the result may be. " O most sapient, thine is iri deed a noble creed, so disinterested, so unselfish, so sublime. My mother taught me in my childhood the ten commandments, which the Good Lbrd thought sufficient for men. 1 suppose you now are considering Him a little behind the times, and are revising them and adding a tew of your own. Your creed is wonderful." The ghost looked daggers and pitchforks and said"nuffin." We issued into the main street, which was wide, but not wide enough for a few whom I saw proceeding with an uncertain gait. " There must be many cripples about here," said I. " They are not cripples, they are nnder the influence of nnholy liquor." " God bless my soul ! bow could they get it?" I exclaimed. "We do not know what thetie people are capable of, or where they get it. They say that many of them never drank before, but they insist they will not haye their rights trampled upon by a parcel of fanatics. We pray for them' daily. I would have you know that we have already doubled the police force, the gaols are full, and we dare not employ more without again increasing our taxation. We have many spies and informers ; we even offer them half the fines as a recompense." " You must indeed have men fall of self-sacrifice, O Ghost, in your midst to undertake the meanest, the most despicable billet on God's earth— via., that of a spy and informer. These men each ought to wear a halo like yourself as a reward for their devotion to your great cause." 11 Yes, they are good, for they know that the majority must rule, and that virtue finds its own reward," snuffled he. " Now tell me, spectre, what is the cause of so many small craft sailing abont our uninhabited coast line, suroly this used not to be the case ?" "We suspect them to be laden with liquor, whence the unbelievers get their supply, but at present we cannot afford to send men to see. We are already paying £'7,000 per diem interest on borrowed capital, and our population has materially decreased. Yet the good Lord will help us, for the majority must rule," whined Prohibition. "Excuse my ignorance," I exclaimed, with a modest blush, " but as far as I can make out you will only have the majority left in this fair island, for all unbelievers, the unbelievers who have capital enough to leave will do so, and all unbelieving capitalists outside will take good care to stop there, in which case you holy ones will be left to ' stew in yonr own grease.' Nay, look not, angry spectre ; I have not the education of your creed, and this is the only simile I can find to be applicable to my surmise." The spectre's eyes flashed fire and bis halo got smaller as he exclaimed, " Earthly worm, you will yet grovel at our feet when the time comes." I hereupon informed him I was a believer in eternity, and he said something which began with a D and ended with a N. "I see, 0 holy spirit, I have somewhat riled yon ; yet I wish to ask you another ignorant question. What are you going to do now that yeur mission has been successfully completed as far as this colony is concerned? Of course you will leave tbe God fearing population to manage their own affairs, and you will seek 1 fields afresh and pastures new,' to gain the fresh reward which virtue always brings. I suppose you will gain another stripe — I beg pardon, I mean halo? " Bah, mortal, your ignorance sickens me; I will not answer," growled, the, ghost.